scared about bone graft surgery

i go to the dentist every 6 months and told every time my teeth are in great shape.  but on my last visit, i had each tooth measured and the dental hygienist discovered i had a deep pocket on my back molar about 6mm deep.  i was referred to a perio and told would need a bone grafting done.  i was shocked!!!  how often do dental hygienist measure your teeth?  my sister goes to the dentist and she told me she has it done every visit.  I was shocked again.  why didn't the same dental hygienist do this with me and if she did, could this have been prevented?  now i am looking at close to $2,000 worth of work that may or may not work for me.  i am pissed that the dentist had not discovered this long ago.  i also remember the dental hygienist mentioned "i will get in trouble if i don't measure your teeth.  i have not done this in about 2 or 3 years."  she said this after she cleaned my teeth and told me everything looked great.  if she did not measure my teeth, i don't know what would have happened.  but if she had updated my chart 2 or 3 years ago, i would not have this problem.  i am sooo angry i don't know what to do.  i am scared of the surgery but if i need it then i need it.  any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[keyzersoce]

I had the  same situation years ago. When the hygienist finally measured my pockets, she said they were too deep and I had the same reaction: Why did you wait so long?
The first periodontist I consulted also started talking about bone grafts and thousands of dollars of work. I insisted on a second opinion and saw a periodontist who told me he thought only one quadrant needed gum surgery; the other areas we would just observe. He performed laser gum surgery in that area, I've been diligent about flossing regularly, and get my teeth cleaned at the periodontist, where they monitor the pockets. I haven't needed anything since(knock on wood).

Therefore, my advice would be to get a second opinion. In my opinion, 6mm is deep, but not deep enough that a more conservative perio might say: Let's try a deep scaling first and suggest some antibiotics and keeping the area clean with the home use of interdental brushes.

See another perio.