DR/DP

Hello.
I have been dealing with this for a couple years. I went years without it. I also had it for 5 years as a teenager and then it went away and i dont know why or how. but it came back when i turned 40.

I wanted to ask if anyone has panic attacks as well. also has anyone experienced strange thoughts? not content of thoughts but the mechanics of them. like the process is somehow screwed up.
i wish I could explain it.

also, how do you describe your experiences to people who do not have them? it feels impossible to do so.

[quesadilla]

     i dont know how long ive had this but i know probably most of my life. Ive always felt different and would have moments where id feel uncomfortable, strange or detached.  I remember as a young kid sitting and wondering who am i? what am i? and other existential related questions.
      but like you said its really hard to explain especially since i recently found out that i have ADD/HD, (which has explained a lot) but i forget a lot.
i also have anxiety and depression but only sometimes because i just forget and go into different mind set.
but i know what you mean with the mechanics.  I sometimes have intrusive, racing thoughts and images that just develop on their own

[johnis64]

I was diagnosed with dissociative? disorder about 5 years ago and I still don't understand what is happening with me. I certainly can't even try to explain it to people, except those who have been with me during a dissosiative state. I went through a horribly traumatic experience before it began. I was shopping at a TJ Max type of store and suddenly realized when I "woke up" that I had this handful of items I never would have bought. I had been sitting on the floor for close to 2 hours before someone said "excuse me" and I came to. I was very frightened when I looked at my watch. I don't remember anything duriing all of that time. Same thing happened again the next week. I had pulled all of these area rugs all over the floor of a store. A lady that worked there asked me if I was going to buy any of them (she was ticked because she was having to pick them up). This time, over 2 hours. I was so shaken by it that I told the lady something had happened to me. I was determined to find my cart, with her help, and buy the few items I had in my cart. I was shaking so badly that I couldn't figure out how to sign my name fore the credit card. After that I knew I had to tell someone so I called my therapist. She called my husband and we had to meet together. It was wierd because my husband insisted I drive us to the therapist. What he noticed that the reason I had been having a couple of fender benders is because it actually affects your vision. I was having to slam on my brakes at red lights not realizing how close I was to cars in front of me. I was told I couldn't drive for a month while the neurologist checked me out. Sure enough my brain looked fine and he agreed I had D.D. During that time I had to be in a restful state and not be stressed. I also couldn't drive. One morning our son had a soccer game and 2 of our daughters had a basketball game at the same time in opposite directions. I told my husband I was fine and it was only 4 miles away to take our daughters but he dropped us off early and took our son to soccer. I was going to pick us up afterward. All of the sudden in the gym I got very warm, then felt burning hot and nausaus. I ran out of the gym, stumbling to get out in the cold, fresh air. I sat on a curb for who knows how long and the it came to me that my daughters were in the gym. I got up to run back but my legs didn't move with my upper body. I stumbled and tried to get my legs up under me but when down hard on the asphault. I still remember hitting the pavement and the sound of my face hitting the ground. I couldn't get up and kept lifting my head like a turtle while I heard people around me at a fairly short distance away. Blood was pouring down my face and I felt like my face had caved in. I lady came up and asked me if I was ok. When she took a better looked she screamed and someone came over with a towel. When they took me into the bathroom I was horrified. I had crushed my right chin and cheek, broken my nose, cracked off my two front teeth and had a gaping wound on my forehead and my knee was all swollen and bleeding. I told them to call my husband from my cell. He was almost back so we all just sat their as kids looked on in horror. He arrived and took me to the ER where among everything else, my heart rate stayed steady a 50 and my blood pressure was quite low. He thought it was shock but I knew better. I was watching from above. He asked me from 1 through 10 what my pain was. I told him I felt no pain. I really didn't. From that time on it is clear to me that I go into "robot" mode. Like with my children, I go through the acts of being their mom but I have no emotion. Again, I'm out of my body in some other world. I also have crazy dreams that I have actually learned to control so that I am able to push my heels down and I go up in the air, hovering over any danger. I don't know if I'm really dreaming seeing that I can control them, but before I would have terrible nightmares and wake myself up screaming (or scare my husband to death). I know this is long but I'm glad that maybe others have experienced this as well.