9 yr old "angry" since birth

[kelolette]

Something somewhere is being missed.  My 9 yr old son is a very very bright boy.  Very sweet, very complimentary but has had horrible anger issues since being an infant.  He reaches the maximum number of suspensions every year at school for kicking, hitting, etc.  He is very impulsive.  He takes Abilify 15 mg at night, 5 mg in the a.m. and Adderall, 15 mg.  I have grounded him, spanked him, made him do chores, like cleaning showers, etc. but what keeps nagging at me is so many people ask me if I think maybe he's autistic, has Aspergers but he doesn't meet those criteria.  He does however HATE change.  He has even corrected a teacher if she misses going over a subject in the order that is customary.  I am so concerned for him and for me as a parent.  He's gotten kicked out of after school programs because of this erratic behavior and it is not due to lack of parenting.  Now, there is history in my family of schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and depression.  How can I steer his doctor that he's gone to for years to listen to me and help me find what is really going on?  We are limited to where we can go due to insurance so any help would be greatly appreciated.

in tears here.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

the comment and advice below is very sound, in particular the idea of seeing a child specialist, and exploring the use of special medications other than those you are already on.  You may ask the specialist about the possibility that the abilify and adderal actually make the issue worse because of their stimulant effects.

[Tabb23]

that is Tabb23 at aol . com

[Tabb23]

I have  an 11 year old that seems to have some of the same issues as your son, I dont even know where to start, My son has been diagnosed with ADHD, ADD, ODD and Depression. He has been on medication since he was 3 years old for the ADHD. After going through many behavior modification programs, it seemes there was no answer. My son also had many angry outbusts, he would hurt himself and others. It was a scary situation. The puzzling thing was that he was so bright, and very capable of learning. So why couldnt he learn to behave? We eventually looked into therapy programs, we went to counselors for years with no progress. The therapist never saw his out busrts, I , the school, our family, everyone we knew had seen my son have these sort of tantrums, but no specialist seemed to be able to help us. I am one to keep trying until I find a solution. I finally took my son from the doctors he had been seeing, and went to a new program, we started differnt medications, they put him on a mood stabilizer, and something for depression, along with his meds for the hyperactivity. I do believe they came up with a fantastic combination. It was not the first one we tried however, we worked until we got something that worked for him, understand all childeren are different, what works for one may do nothing for another. However, the best thing I did was to have a therapist come into my home, she was great, she made the most progresss with my son because she came into our home inviroment, his comfort zone, she almost instanly saw the tantrums and angry out burst we had been telling the doctors about for years. Her plan was simple, when he was angry she would get in his face and make him talk through his feelings, he soon learned his reaction to situation was not the emotion he was feeling. When he was sad, he acted angry, when he was tired, he acted angry, and so on. We discoved he was somewhat like a small child who never learned how to appropriatly express how he was feeling. Like a crying infant, they cant say im hungry, wet or tired, so they cry. The same with him, he eventually learned more appropriate ways of expressing himself. We had an emotion chart, with faces of different emotions it was a great resource for having him explain what he felt. We are now doing so much better, my son has gone from getting suspended and into fights on a regular basis, to make honor roll, being in advanced classes. I understand you frustration. It is hard to deal with an angry child, just know he is not angry with you. He needs to know as much as you can tell him that you love him and will always be there to help him no matter what. You can never love him too much. Hug him and touch him often, this bond helps so much with breaking his anger. I hope this help you in some way, feel free to email me at ***@****
Tabatha

[momwithquestions]

Just wanted to say that my 5 year old is similar to your son but just not at the level because he isn't in school yet.  He is the sweetest little boy but one little change and he will get upset and his moods swing really fast.  He has a lot of aggressive tendencies.  He has been seeing a neurologist for hyperreflexia but the neurologist is having him go to a behavorial specialist.  He goes Monday for his first appt.  My boyfriends 2 boys are the same and they were both diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar disorder and have to have councling twice a month with a behavorial specialist to monitor their meds because as children grow their meds need to be adjusted most of the time.  Hope your son gets the help he needs and gets into councling so they can make sure he is getting right meds.  Good luck.  

[libra848]

We have some children in my extended family with similar issues.  FInally the parents look at what could be changed behaviorally, as in therapy....and most importantly therapy for the parents to learn how to deal witha child who is different.  I think sometimes medications may be necessary for children.  But I think they are far too overused and far too quickly turned to when other avenues have not been completely exhausted.

[justinL]

I ask the same question as the Doctor: do you remember if your son had these issues before he was on either or both of his medications? I personally was put on antidepressants when I was very young, and in both my experience and knowledge, heavy drugs in the life of a young child, even if they are deemed necessary, are often dealing with one problem whilst creating other problems just as severe. This is just my opinion based on what I have read, and I apologize if it doesn't apply to you or your son, but I don't follow how the DSM-IV precludes the diagnosis of such illnesses as Bi-Polar disorder or schizophrenia for young children, yet I have witnessed many stories of young children given either such diagnoses, or being prescribed heavy pharmaceuticals - such pharmaceuticals contraindicated in persons below a certain age - when even in many adults' cases, the medication is simply masking other unresolved issues?

[Damians_Mama]

Maybe you should think about taking your son to a new dr. if the one you have will not listen!!! have you tried contacting your local Mental Health?? I was told that before going to Mental Health make sure your Dr. has taken all test and treatments he can for your son. When this is done and your son still has issues and they don't know why then take him...But since You do have a family history it is very likey that your son has something more...I have been struggling with my son behavier since he was 1 in a half. My son has just resently been diagnosed as having bipolar, he's 11 years old now!!!  I would advise you to research bipolar, if you have not done so already. Your son is on a very low dose of meds, maybe he needs an increase. I'm not a very big fan of meds, but if it helps thats all that matters. They Dr. also thought that my son had Aspergers too. Which in the end he wasnt. Children like this can't stand change it's really hard for them, they need things to be the same everyday. If you know that something is going to change you should let him know before. This has worked for my son and is known to be helpful. It doesnt work all the time but it helps!! Have they suggested reward charts for your son??  Well I hope this helps you in your time of trouble...If you have any other questions or just need someone to talk to, im here...I'll help if I can....