Agoraphobic

Hi, I am 33 years old and have suffered from a Panic Disorder and Agoraphobia for 17 years. As you can see that is all of my adult life. My question is about my agoraphobia. It just seems to get worse over time. I realize it is due to my avoidance behavior, but it is really affecting how I live as an independent adult. I can not do anything it seems. I have good days and bad days of course. But when it really counts I can not go out or at least go to a place I need to go, this includes my family which is only 20 minutes away, the dentist (which i have not seen since i was 14), the doctors, weddings, funerals, pretty much anywhere that I "have" to be or feel obligated to be. I see a therapist and we are now doing EMDR work, which i am hopeful about. I guess what I want to know is what are some "baby" type steps that people with agoraphobia do to widen the security bubble that we live in? I feel so alone in this, like no one really gets what agoraphobia means, that they think I am just lazy or unwilling to even try. Also, my agoraphobia also includes being afraid to have anyone around me either. I have a select few that I can trust to come to my house, because I know they will leave if i feel uncomfortable. But the boyfriend I have now i have had for 3 years and he has never slept at my house and we have never driven anywhere together or gone anywhere. It cant be very fulfilling for him. Yet he loves me, i do not know why?

I really just want your advice. I know that i am not the only one to suffer this so i was wondering if you knew anything that has helped someone in the past. I am desperate to be free.  

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

When you work with your therapist think about focusing on what you know intellectual but have yet to learn emotionally, and that is that the fear you have is an image in your mind that does not correspond to reality.  You have to " attack" the veracity of that image, first by isolating and verbalizing it, then proving to yourself through action experiments( baby steps) that the particular image that holds you hostage is only an image. You have to work this out with your therapist,but that is the pathway to stay on...it's a good time in your life to emancipate yourself from this prison.