Angry at Doctor

Two years ago I underwent surgery and while coming out of anesthesia divulged private information about myself, subconsciously, to my surgeon, stating that I was a graduate of The Citadel (The Military College of South Carolina) and had also served in Iraq.

On a post-operative visit to the surgeon's office he blocked my exit from the room and demanded that I engage him in a physical fight. The only other person in the room was his wife, who also served as a nurse -- however, she refused to interfere and wouldn't not restrain her husband.

When I declined the doctor's challenge, he stated that I had no choice -- that I would either fight him or that he would "break" my "spirit" the same way the spirit of an animal is broken, using a professional technique that he knew of.

I could have easily floored the doctor but didn't want to disgrace a man in front of his wife -- nor did I want to risk a lawsuit or potential arrest, which I knew would most likely ensue if I forced him away from the door in an effort to get out of the room.

Knowing that the doctor had no real level of integrity I also considered that he might have a weapon for his own advantage -- in fact I was convinced that he did, since he was aware of my own skills as a soldier.

When it became clear that I could not leave the room, I had no choice but to submit to the doctor's attempt to break my spirit. For over an hour he yelled the word "no" in an extremely derogatory and aggressive way, utilizing various patterns mimicking the chopping down of trees and the snapping of ropes.

The doctor wallowed in his verbal abuse until he detected signs of my resistance wearing down and finally giving out. Throughout the course of his abuse he would run at me like an enemy soldier carrying a grenade.

I made it out of the room after he was finished and told me that I would never get up again. I felt completely de-powered. My confidence level and ability to function in all aspects of life were severely impaired.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

If this is a true story, and I suspect it is, you should go immediately to a lawyer and tell him what happened, and follow through.  This is beyond horrible malpractice as it is told. You should also talk to a therapist immediately to help get over and through this with your spirit intact.

[EchoJ]

I'm seeking answers for what exactly was done to me and what it means from a medical perspective to "break" a human's or animal's "spirit"...

I reported the event to the state med board but they dropped the investigation when it became clear that no neutral third party had been in the room and the doctor and his wife denied the allegation...

My rage and confusion over this incident has become all-consuming.

[hrdcore]

hey man, that was ol uncle sam's insurance policy to ensure u can't claim any probs or after effects of the war....u r a f**king hero my friend.....don't let this nobody deskdrivin pencil pushin piece of human garbage bother u for a sec...........sounds like HE has the prob to me man.......bein pi**ed off is fine, but ferget about it.....didn't mean ****.i personally consider it an honor just to have "spoken" to you....hard as a rock and shut like a lock .......our country owes you more than i can say.....be cool friend, see u around,P

[venora]

was this a militwry doc or tricare  docand if it was a tricare doc you can fix it so he can no longer take tricare patients.Then the next thing to do is let go of this anger.It only hurts you not this stupid doc.If you have to seek out some therapy to get rid of this anger.HRD is right .this doc wins if you let him take over your life like this.
Love Venora

[EchoJ]

Thank you both for your feedback. I'm hoping that Dr. Gould will drop his two cents about what it means, medically, to break someone's spirit, because that's what this doctor said he was doing to me. What happens in the brain after it gets so heavily bombarded with unceasing abuse over the span of an hour that the beliefs about the self change, confidence collapses, etc, and the personality actually changes. That's what happened to me after this event. It was a life-changing trauma on par with losing a limb. My experience in the military didn't even match the amount of mental turmoil I've experienced as a result of this incident.

[Lola2]

Wow I have never heard of this kind of technique, it's just horrible. I probably would have told him he was a raving lunatic and retreated in my mind while he performed his circus act. I don't know, though, as I was not there so it's hard to say when someone's screaming in your face. It sounds like he is a psycho, though. Really not in control of himself.

For yourself and your well being, you may have had some kind of chemical altering in your mind, but you're aware enough to come here and write about it that it was definitely something being done to you, and not something coming from within yourself. Try to separate yourself, who you are, from this other person. You are in the right, and the feelings you have right now and after this incident were manufactured by this guy. They are not your true feelings or true reflection of your identity and beliefs. He manipulated you. You should not feel shame over that but simply tell yourself that this person has problems, is very sick mostly likely, and begin to restore yourself.

Everyone's got their opinions on war and all that but you do your job, you do what you have to do and you're not to be blamed and shamed for following orders. You're a valuable person with a purpose, and some people will never be able to accept or understand it, but you have every right to a good life. Move through this as best you can, step by step.

I wish you could get some restitution from that loon and see him punished, but just know that things like this will be judged in the end, anyway. He's not going to escape consequences for what he did.

I hope you can heal from this and soon. God bless.