Anxiety? What should I do?

For many years I've been dealing with what I guess you would say is anxiety. It really affects how I live my life, as I avoid most any situation that may be uncomfortable for me. This has led to me being 26 years old and I've never even been on a date. Sad but true.

I'm still living at home and working at the same place I was back in high school. Most of the friends I had back then I've intentionally distanced myself from because I feel as though they are all more interesting and successful than I am. They all seem to have husbands, careers, children, and what do I have to show for all these years?

Ended up dropping out of college because I would not take public speaking, which is a huge fear of mine. My plan was to go to a community college for a couple years then transfer to a four year school. Everything was well and I was making good grades. Put off the public speaking class until the last semester and needless to say, I'm 3 classes shy of having an associate's degree. Yes, I chose to walk away from college rather than face a few minutes of awkwardness in front of my peers.

I've been pretty good at staying in my comfort zone. Doing otherwise stresses me out and I try to convince myself that it's not worth it. On a day to day basis, as long as I don't really think in depth about where my life is, I'm not really happy but I'm not depressed either. When I start really thinking about things it makes me sad and frustrated that I can't step up and take control of my life. I feel like a prisoner to something that I have no clue how to stop. Some recent health issues have put my anxiety at an all time high and I really feel as though it's taking over my life.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

the best advice I can give you is what you have already received which is to seek professional counseling.  It's not a matter of talking to stranger and dumping out all your secrets.  It's a matter of sorting out your thoughts because right now you are stuck and the longer you remain stuck the more you will suffer from various symptoms and the more you will avoid doing what you need to do to make your life move forward.  If you can't afford a doctor right now and want to do some work on your own you can go to my website my virtual shrink.com and sign up for a month subscription.  You'll get step-by-step help.  there is a big session on procrastination which will probably help you the most in sorting out your fears and coming to grips with the reality of your life.

[WorriedOne84]

Always had a huge fear of going to doctors so I avoid them at all cost. It had been 6 years since I had been to a doctor before last year. In December I ended up having surgery to remove my gallbladder. Now, I'm still having stomach problems and am worried that something is wrong. This type of situation is completely new to me but I'm forced to deal with it. It's either come face to face with my fear of going to doctors or worry that I'm dying. Even doing basic stuff such as picking up the phone and calling to make an appointment causes me way more stress than it should. Sometimes I'll dial all but the last digit of the phone number multiple times and then hang up. I'm always thinking, what do I say when they answer? It's so ridiculous.

For the last couple months I'm having a really difficult time sleeping through the night, which had never been a problem for me. Also, I've had increased irritability, and inability to concentrate. When people are talking to me I'm not really hearing what they are saying because I can't focus. I'm consumed with my health issues 24/7.

Do I want to continue living my life this way, no I don't. I want to be happy and I know that I'm currently doing absolutely nothing to make that possible. It just seems completely weird that I should go talk to a doctor who doesn't know me, and I don't know him/her, and tell them all the craziness going on in my head. It's one thing to be on this message board with complete strangers spilling my life story but I don't have to be face to face with anyone judging me. I haven't had a primary care doctor in years so I have really no one to go to that I trust or feel comfortable talking to. Do you think that this is something I can overcome by myself or do I really need to see a doctor regarding these issues? If so, how do I go about taking the steps needed to get the help I need? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

[WorriedOne84]

I had to post the message in two part because it exceeded the character limit.

[Jaquta]

As someone who has experienced some similar issues with anxiety, etc I would strongly recommend seeking professional help.

I think you decide too.  Then act.  It may sound overly simplistic but I know of no other way that actually works.

I guess your post is a good reminder to me that there are things in my life that I need confronting.
I have put off nearly a years worth of oncology appointments due to anxiety plus recently I sabotaged my goal of completing a running event which I had been training for.  I feel like the world's biggest loser.  All because I can't manage my anxiety.
I feel awkward about seeing my doctor but have an appointment for next week.

I would really encourage you to take that first step and make an appointment to see your doctor.  I think psychotherapy could also be extremely beneficial.

[WorriedOne84]

Thank you for taking time to respond.  Part of me is embarassed to go to someone for help.   I haven't had any luck sorting throught these issues myself. It's true that I'm really stuck in a place where I don't want to be but at the same time it feels safe.   I'm 26 years old now and I've missed out on so many things because I'm afraid.  It's frustrating when I really think about it.  This is really the first time I've acknowledge that this is really holding me back.  Maybe I can get to the point of going to a doctor about this and soon but I don't know if I'm completely ready.  Again, thanks for your response.

[Jaquta]

I think it would be a good idea to make an appointment and follow up with your stomach issues.  I also think this gives you a good opening to discuss other issues.

Acknowledging you have a problem is a good first step.

You could possibly try Dr Gould's program if you're interested and see if that helps.  Definitely follow up about the stomach problems though.

I agree with the doctor.  I haven't been proactive in dealing with my issues and I avoid absolutely everything.  This just contributes to the sense of loss and of feeling stuck.
If I knew what I do now I would have taken steps to address my issues earlier.
I am currently waiting for psychotherapy so I can work through my issues.

I really hope you get support in helping you work through your issues.

[dj27a]

Hello,

This sounds exactly like me, I'm 27 and was/am in a very similar position. If you want to have a chat sometime, feel free to drop me a msg, I maybe of some help.

As others have said, go and see a GP and get a referral to a physiatrist/phycologist.. go and see this person, talk it out, cry, do whatever is necessary. Yes you are spilling your guts to a complete stranger, but this person is a professional, who deals with people like us everyday. You won't be judged, I can assure you of that.

You're 26, yes you've wasted a few years of your life, but it's far from over, life is too short to spend it wallowing away in a room.

[lcalvin]

Like you, I am afraid to go to the doctor and seek prof help. I'm all for going natural whenever I have that "disturbed" feeling. I listen to music, exercise- eat some comfort food and all. A friend who's suffering from the same issues too shared a site with tips on all going natural- this is not spam. Again, it's just a personal tip. No harm if you try coz like I said, I have avoided any sort of medications too. hhttp://4a4395too-5vbza-r6-blnnazr.hop.clickbank.net/

[WorriedOne84]

I did it!  I finally spoke to my doctor about the issues that I've been having.  He started me out on Zoloft and referred me to a professional counselor.  Tomorrow is my first appointment and I'm extremely nervous.  It's going to be so awkward talking to a stranger about my innermost thoughts and feelings.  It's only recently when I've began to really acknowledge how I feel about where my life is currently.  Hopefully I'm taking the first step to gaining control of my life.

[recoveringalky892]

I'm 45 years old,had been strugling with life alot.grew up from vietnam,a country torn with wars.i'd learned here in the U S A.that there are drugs and lots of everything.i'd lots of difficulties in my younger years as well and still do nowadays.but i'd also learned here that with age and wisdom.when i had faith, god seeming to be so far is the remedies for my problems.questions is am i willing to give it to him,do i believe in him.i was demoralized by drugs/alcohols/fears.have anxiety attacks,insecured.you name it.but when all let me down,God is the only one i ask for everything/strenght/hope.it worked.now my friend you too should be able to do all with God in mind and you'll see miracles and able to do everything with room to spare.try it.God bless you.don't be a Worriedone no more.that was my middle name i got rid of it.life isn't perfect for me but i'm practicing to be caring/loving/giving.if i don't know how i ask God to help me.i'm pretty comfortable in my own skin nowaday without drugs nor alcohol.i'm weaning off from some clonepin.again i'll ask god to help me.hope you feel better with this mysterious one but faith my friend will do it all.

[jocnny]

Talk to someone who will really listen to you - like a guidance counselor. Or, a medical physician you trust and you feel comfortable with. Good luck.

[WorriedOne84]

I had my first appointment with a licensed professional counselor on Thursday.  It was a little awkward talking to a complete stranger but it was nice actually having someone listen to me.  I feel so lost and confused right now and really need help sorting through things.  I feel like there's only one or two people in my life who somewhat understand or even try to comprehend what I'm going through.  The counselor I spoke with thinks my anxiety is stuck on high now so she called my doctor to see if he could prescribed something, in addition to the Zoloft (been on it for 13 days).  He did prescribe Klonopin but at a super low dosage, .25 mg twice daily, so I don't see how that's going to help.  I'm only taking 25 mg of Zoloft each day as well.  Somehow I've got to keep faith that I'm doing the right thing and eventually things will all work out.  At least I'm making an effort instead of doing nothing and being miserable.  Thanks to everyone for your advice.

[Jaquta]

I'm glad you've taken these big steps.

Therapy can be a little awkward until you build a rapport with the therapist.  Talking through how you feel with your T is a good idea.

The medication can take a little while to work.  In general I've seen time periods of between 4 and 8 weeks given to when a person will notice positive change.
Having a divided dose should help keep the anxiety steady without having huge spikes.
The doctor may just be starting you off at a low dose before it is increased so as to minimize any side-effects.  If you still have concerns or feel anxious then talk to your T about them.  It sounds like she is keeping the doctor informed.

I expect talking through your issues and managing your anxiety will make a huge difference to both you and your life.