Bipolar mother

[dragonflysar21]

My mother is bipolar and we have been through a lot of "episodes" together.  Recently I have been having the same nightmare about one of her episodes.  The nightmare happens just like the actual event happened.  It was over 7 years ago, my freshman year of high school when my mother showed up at my school demanding that I leave with her.  She was manic during this time.  She took me out to the front of the school where she pulled out a knife and stuck it to my neck.  The police were surrounding her while I was pleading with both of them (my mother and the police) to not do anything.  Then the dreaded luch bell rang!!  ALL the highschool kids came out to see that I was being held at knife point by my own mother.  To make a long story short, she surrendered to the police, but it didn't stop the stares and laughter from my peers.  I didn't have any nightmares about this until recently, now they wont stop.  I saw a doctor and mentoned it and she said maybe I have bipolar, or depression.  BUT Im still a very happy person and have only mild mood swings (like any women does).  My mother and I have a great relationship too.  The nightmares are really startin to bother me though.  Any advice??  

[EVA MARIE]

Hello,
Your story sound so similiar to mines.  I am 30 years old now and my mother has had bipolar all her life.  She has done some pretty horrible things to me.  She has spent half her life in prison or in mental instituions. She gave me up to my grandparents when I was little and yes I still have many nightmares of all the dreadful things she's done to me.

My suggestions would be to go to church and pray for her.  At this point what do you have to loose.  The enemy wants to destroy our happiness and if you let him he will.  I pray for my mother and I have faith that he will change her.

If you need any advice, please let me know.

GOD BLESS!!!

[dragonflysar21]

Thank you for the help..  I LOVE to dream.. and even this nightmare that keeps going on and on, I feel like I have something to learn from it.  Each time it happens, there is always something small that changes, or well, becomes more noticable.  I volunteer at my local mental health place where I talk to some workers there, but they all seem to think the same thing my doctor did..  I just can't come to terms with her "diagnosis" especially since I am the one who helps others with their mental illnesses, in a way.  I always hated counselors.. no offence to who ever might be one.. but I just can't seem to talk in front of them.  I have NO problem expressing myself through words.. but speaking is a whole different ball game.  
But thank you all for the help...  I will definantly keep it in mind.

[flicka250]

It's possible something is triggering these feelings that were buried for awhile. This was a very traumatic experience--how absolutely awful for you--so it isn't surprising that it has resurfaced. Think of it as a gift to be opened and explored. Trying to supress nightmares never works. You need to deal with the images and feelings they present.

Counseling, even short-term, would probably be very helpful. I'm a psychiatric NP who diagnoses and treats mental illness every day and I'll be the first to say don't let anyone rush to pin a diagnosis on you just because you have nightmares. On the other hand, I certainly don't have enough history to make any concrete advice along those lines, so spend a little time with a competent mental health professional, and in the meantime don't panic. Your mind is amazing and resilient.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

Yes, I have some advice.  Think of these nightmare not as a sign of some mental illness diagnosis, but a natural phenomenon where your unconscious mind is trying to figure something out.  You might want to talk to a therapist for a short time to help you with that.  some thoughts are that something in your current life is potentially embarrassing, and you need to face that and see what you can do about it...or it might be another level of maturing your relationship with your mother in which you are more willing to forgive her on a deeper level, and have to review how you felt then before you can finish forgiving...just some posssibilities....