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I have always known that I have blocked out most if not all of my childhood from the age of 10 and younger. My brothers can remember things that have happened when they were just 2 and 3 years old. I used to joke and say that it must have been traumatic for me this is why I do not remember. I have heard stories of things that have happened to me and still nothing jars loose. Recently I have heard that my brother thinks I physically abused him as a child. This is very upsetting to me for many reasons, however I desperately need to know if this is true and what else it is that happened that caused me to block my memory in the first place. I feel I am healthy enough to face the unknown. I am not sure how to go about doing this. I have been to psychologist in the past and nothing worked. Am I going to the wrong people? Please HELP!!
It is not at all uncommon, and quite normal, for people to have this kind of scanty memory about childhood. You definetly should not jump to the conclusion that this because of some kind of trauma or sexual abuse. It is not the most likely explanation.
Its very difficult to retrieve memories by direct inquiry. The past is alive in another way than memories. It is alive in images that compete with your interpretation of interpersonal matters. If you are having troubles now, going to a therapist and working on those troubles, trying to sort out past images from current reality, is your best route to reconnecting with past experiences.
I also am unable to recalll the majority of my childhood. I remember some things, but when I thought about it I realized I was remebering pictures I saw at a later age.
I blew it off, figuring my childhood was uneventful.
And if it wasn't - I don't think I want to know.
Maybe theres a good reason we block out memories.
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