Depressed Mother

To Whom it May Concern:
I am a 48 year old man with a 75 year old mother.  Last year her last sister died of cancer which had been a 4 year battle.  Before her sister's death my mother had been zoning out with people but after her sister's death my mother seems to getting progressively worse.  She is continually forgettful and tends not to pay attention to conversations.  She complaines about the littlelest things that never bothered her before.  She has always enjoyed going to florida (I let her borrow my condo) but this year she got  bus tickets and then she cancelled and told my wife and I she didn't want to go.  2 of her friends have called me to express concern and They feel along with me and my wife's sister (a nurse)think that it is depression.  I would like to take her to a psychologist to talk to him and get help.  When I call her, and mention getting help she hangs up.  I go to her house to help her with things and she'll start to cry about here sister and everyone else she knew that died and I'll suggest getting help and she ask me to leave, and if I don't leave she will either not listen(put her hands over her ears while humming) or threaten to call the police, and when her friends try to suggest help she breaks up the relationship. I am really concerned about her and would like to know how I could get her to get the help she needs?  Thank you for your time.

Joseph

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

You are right she needs help and that she probably has a depression.  Since she won't see a psychologist, which means admitting she needs help, maybe she will see her primary care doctor for one of her aches and pains, and you can talk to him in advance, and he can at least give her some antidepression medications.  Its worth a try.