Getting Fed up with myself and feeling this way

[Jujube]

First, let me say, I appreciate having access to a forum such as this.  I will begin by saying that I recognize that, by nature as I get older, I am an anxious person.  I have, generally, done well at managing my anxiety and have actually thrived in a high pressure environment for the past 15 years (receiving several awards and promotions over this period.  I am generally a happy, enthusiastic and energetic person.  Last fall, I started feeling run down (I assumed it was stress-related.  It had been an unprecendedly busy time at work, I was short-staffed and had not had any real time of for over 1 1/2 years).  My doctor gave me Paxil, which I had responded to years earlier when I stopped drinking (at the same time I also stopped drinking coffee and using an over the counter medication (Sudafed) which, I have to admit I had become addicted to over a number of years).  Anyways, after running blood tests, my doctor found out that I was iron deficient (although not yet anemic).  She advised me that this was contributing to my apathetic mood, anxiety and lethargy.  I continued the Paxil nonetheless.  After three months, the Paxil was not having any effect at 30 mg (higher dose than I had been on before). I was switched to Prozac, to which I had an immediate, adverse emotional reaction.  Effexor XR was next, and I was on it for 6 months.  During this period, the dose was increased to 225 mg (and I was at 225 mg for 8 weeks).  While on the Effexor, I found myself becoming emotionally blunted (apathetic and unmotivated), increasingly anxious and apprehensive (although I had had only one experience that even remotely ressembled a panic attack, I could not stop thinking about it and found myself becoming, embarrassingly enough,
somewhat agoraphobic).  I felt that I could not continue on the Effexor (feels like 6 months of my life have been wasted), and told my doctor so.  I started Celexa 7 days ago and, although I want to be positive, can't help but worry that it will not alleviate the anxiety and apprehension that were exacerbated by months I spent on Effexor XR and, most recently, by receiving my first Depo Provera treatment.  I am doing relaxation exercises and will be starting NLP and TLT shortly.  I just want to be me again (happy, carefree and not afraid).  Am I making a mistake going on Celexa?  Has it been an effective treatment for GAD?  Although I have sometimes used Xanax in the past, my doctor keeps advising me that I should avoid using it and just get out there and do things.  I have been out there doing things, but it is difficult when you constantly "what iffing" yourself.  I kept trying to explain that, for me, going out without the "what if" tape playing works wonders.  And, that is what the Xanax helps with, even if I only use it two or three times.  I appareciate your time, and sorry for the long message.  Thanks.

[Wiz_NY]

Each person is unique:

    A DR who oversees a teaching program put me on Klonopin and Lexapro. It works!

    Lexapro may create some sleeping difficulties. If I fall asleep on the sofa, I tell everyone to leave be until the morning. not trying to sleep, but laying down on a sofa with blanket and pillow - works for me!

    However, whatever is said or acknowledged on this board, this MD stated that I may have to remain on Klonopin for a long period of time - perhaps forever!

    I believe in trial and error - after having been misdiagnosed for 10 years.

[horse1]

i was on a number of anti-depressants a few yrs ago during a divorce - serzone, zoloft, paxil, prozac. i was also prescribed xanax. the anti-depressants helped me through the rough spots but because of the side effects (drowsiness, unable to sleep, disinterest and lack of feeling during sex, general apathy and lack of motivation) i quit taking the anti-dep. i stopped taking the paxil cold turkey.  for all their claims to be non-addictive,i thought i would die from mental anguish from the withdrawal. i was ok in a week or so, but that is because i didn't take it for a long period of time. i continued to take .25 mgs of xanax daily for 5 yrs and when my dr. would no longer refill the script, i went cold turkey. that was 2 yrs ago and when i stopped, i was cranky, itchy and could not sleep well for several weeks.

i am an anxious, type A personality by nature with a tendency for stage 1 hypertension. i am a 48 yo female and have lost some 30 lbs over the past 5 yrs (i weigh 107 lbs). i get antsy and cranky and tend to have adrenalin rushes resulting from inadvertent physical reactions to some situations. BUT, i am very healthy and manage my stress/anxiety with lots of physical activity & exercise. i DO NOT want to be in the pockets of pharmaceutical companies that claim to solve all these probs with miracle drugs. while i am sure that medication is warranted in many cases, it is not the panacea that our society believes is the cure all.

i also quit drinking about 9 months ago..i used to drink every day now only about 1 x per month and that has helped too. i have family members that take all kinds of drugs including xanax and they have been in rehab more than once for prescription drugs (benzodiazpines are HIGHLY addictive). pls - try alternative measures to handle your anxiety such as exercise, meditation, or whatever..good luck to you.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

Although many doctors are reluctant to recommend Xanax because it so hard to get off of I think you can make a good case to your doctor for trying that rather than another antidepressant medication that sometimes works for anxiety. It may break the cycle and get you back to a non-medicated state sooner that way.

[kanny]

hang in there!  your story sounds alot like mine.  through a 7 year period, i went from zoloft to celexa to effexor, now to wellbutrin.  the whatif's suck!  i know -- the anxiety sucks!  but give it some more time with the celexa -- and don't beat yourself up -- i've said it before -- i am living proof that there is light at the end of the tunnel!  maybe a change of doctors?  just want you to know that you are not alone!