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He's just not the same
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He's just not the same

About a year ago my son in law recovered the body of a child in a fire. He had performed CPR and continued to the hospital with the paramedics where the child, after a valid attempt by all, was pronouced dead.
My son in law was a firefighter EMT and also a police officer for the town. Please notice that I said WAS. He has quit the police department, no longer has time to run with the Rescue and responds to very few fires. Picks and chooses which ones he goes on. He has "lost interest" in family values, had a few affairs, gone through the drinking process. He just isn't the same person that my daughter married three years ago.
He now shaves his head, got a tatoo and tounge ring, you can see the picture. This past spring my daughter delivered a baby boy and he seem so detached from the whole thing. This was a child he wanted since he had a vasectemy reversed to accomplish this. My daughter said that he just doesn't know what he wants. He told her that he wants to be alone, doesn't want to be married but just doesn't know why.  
I recently attended a CISM training, I am on a team, and this all seemed to "click" in. Could he be suffering from PTS? What do I do to help him if he doesn't think there is a problem. He was such a dedicated man and loved his job as a police officer. He was even going to test out for the State Police and never went. I hate to see a good marrige go bad. My daughter has stuck by him but it hasn't been easy.
Do you have any suggestions?
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Dear PC

It must be hard for you to see your daughter go through all this. What he had gone through was traumatic experience that can result in PTSD (post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Withdrawing from the family, quitting job,  drinking alcohol, loss of interest in life occur in people with depression. He may be having depression, PTSD, mood disorder secondary to alcohol. May be your daughter can talk to him about seeing a Mental health professional for a comprehensive evaluation. Marital therapy would be beneficial in their situation.

Sincerely

HFHS-M.D
2 Comments
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Avatar_n_tn
Most definitely.  Unfortunately the part of him that knows he is sick, is the part that is sick.  He needs professional help without delay.  You can only do so much, but do encourage hime to see someone.  And tell him to keep seeing profressionals until he gets results.  This will not just get better untreated.

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