How can I stop being a borderline mother?

I am 69 years old, was raised by my mother (divorced father was very devoted to us).  She herself was the 3rd youngest of 14 children and was 9 when her mother died.  I have 3 adult children.  For the first time ever, my 45 year -old happily married daughter and I have had a falling out.  She has read "The Borderline Mother" and asked me to read it also.  So I started it today and she is right.....I kind of fit that category, but do not interfere with my children's lives at all.  Their father, my husband, died of cancer when the kids were 16,15, and 11.  I have been re-married to my present husband for 25 years.  The kids love him and he loves them.

Now, I am ready to take this to a mental health specialist but how does one find one who knows about this disorder.  I live in Lansing MI and we have access to all kinds of specialists.......but how can I find one who knows of this disorder and can treat it?

Thank you
Fran

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

The fact that you recognize some of your behaviors and want to make some changes in exemplary, and that can be done with any good therapist. I would not jump to the "disorder" label even if some of the descriptions fit you. This is not the kind of thing you need a specialist for.

[kmathis70]

most psychiatric dr can treat it just find you and good dr and therapist