How do you talk to an angry person

[Deanntaylor]

I have been with my husband for 2 years,in the begining he was not the way he is now. He was abused (mentally,physically,sexually) as a child,he lost his only child 16 years ago. I dont know if this has anything to do with the way that he is but I don't know how to talk to him. He gets angry at me and my youngest daughter. He flies into a cussing rage says horrible things to me as well as my daughter. She is 14, I found a letter that she wrote to one of her friends that said that she thinks her step father hates her and that he calls her fat and worthless all the time. I cant deny that he has done that. When I confront him while all of this is happening he is furious and then goes into a Im sorry stage that sometimes results in him crying. I have suggested that he needs help whether its meds or a shrink, he wont hear of it he feels he has no problem "its everyone else that has a problem". I haven't discussed the letter with him because I dont know how, I dont want him angry because I dont enjoy being screamed at, he has never been physical with me or my children, however there are times that his going off does scare me. Can anyone help me?

[bama4321]

My wife is and has been angry most of her life. Now in our early 40's with a little girl 8 yrs old it seems there's no end in sight. She usually has the episodes on the weekends.
When she was 3 her mother left home, 2 brothers & sister also, left them with alcoholic father. Mean step mother soon followed. She was sort of a vagabond through school, lived with several relatives & close friends over time. The mother & father have passed (3yrs).
Sometimes during the episodes her face looks phisically different, almost altered.
I would like to get some info from these symptoms if there is any?

chas

thanks for listening

[venora]

***@****,I will look for your e- mail tonight.
Love venora

[Deanntaylor]

how can i get in touch with you?

[Deanntaylor]

Thank you all for the responses to what I posted. Venora I would like to keep in touch with you My email is ***@**** if this site allows you to view the email i have enclosed please email me and let me know and anyone else can email me and I will respond. There is a whole lot more to this story than I was able to post. Thank you for your prayers, Love Deann

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

I think you should pursue the shrink route with your husband, and if he refuses, ask him to go with you so together you can talk to a therapist about your concerns about how he treats you.

[venora]

Your husband does need counseling.He haas alot of emotional baggage he need to deal with.The sad part is untill he acknowledges his need for help there wont be too much you can do.When he does loose his temper and goes through his I sorry phase you will have to lay down the law and let him know that his behavior isnt acceptable.Either he gets help orhe has to leave or you will leave.I am sorry to be so hard but I have learned this the hard way and verbal abuse is just one step from physical and neither are acceptable behaviors.
I will pray that he comes to realization that he needs help before he looses all that is important to him Mainly you and the children.
Let me know how you are.I worry about posters that dont respond.If I can be of help let me know.
Love Venora