Hi, I am 37 years old and have suffered mild anxiety for as long as I can remember. I have been perscribed xanax for over 12 years now. I have only taken .25 miligrams once a day maybe 3-4 times a week with the exception of taking .5 miligrams once in a while when I feel I am going to be in a "situation" (which I will explain in a minute), or 2 miligrams (when I have to fly in an airplane).
Situations have flared from mild to bothersome. Let me start out by stating I am EXTREMLY VOMIT PHOBIC. I haven't thrown up since I was about 6 or 7. I can't watch it on TV...if my boyfriend is sick from drinking I have to go to a hotel...i am excessive with washing my hands with antibacterial stuff & dermal defense, and now have troubles going out to eat because of contamination to food. I get bouts of diarrea due to IBS which I know is egged on by my mind as well.
I know that I can think myself into a panic attack...if I go out to a restaraunt I find myself taking a xanax & immodium in fear of getting sick and diarrea. I don't want to have babies because of the morning sickness...I need to get dental work, but am afraid of gaging & getting sick. I fear if I ever get cancer because the way I am now I could never get cemo because of the sickness. I beleive this is the root to all my anxiety that melds into other things, like I also get anxiety due to clausterphobia..I can't drive passenger (Haven't been able to for years), I hate driving on the highway in case I get stuck in a traffic jam, and freaked out when I drove the the mountains in vegas because I couldn't see the horizon. I am always in fear of getting sick! I tend to hide these things pretty good because xanax helps to releive these thoughts to an extent, but I notice things are starting to get a little more out of control and I don't want to end up angoraphobic. Lately, I find myself taking a .25 of xanax almost every time I am out of my every day routine or somewhere unfamiliar. I am already stressing about a trip to vegas in May (which I have flown quite a bit in the past few years (xanax curbs the flight nerves), but it seems to be getting worse. While in Cancun last year, I was so keyed up every day I just took one for precaution. My questions are, am I addicted to xanax? Is what I take too much to just take a couple times a week or should I take it continually? I have been reading about hypnotherapy...is it something that could help? I get worried I would be bad at hypnotherapy because I would not be able to relax and would want to take a xanax before and wouldn't that defeat the purpose? I actually would love to get hypnotized for A. the vomit phobia, B. Smoking C. Weight Loss D. general anxiety...is it possible for hypnotherapy to help eleviate all these ailments? I don't want to be dependant on xanax and I don't want this to spiral more out of control. I know that occupying my mind is key to distracting these things, but it's hard to shut your brain off!!! Thank You