I'm 18 and about 4 months ago I came out as Gay. Before coming out I experienced a traumatic breakdown, not knowing how to accept myself for who I was. But in time and with support of friends I was able to accept in and be happy. For the first time in almost a year I was finally happy. I had found myself a boy friend and all was going well. And then on a holiday I had a horrible thought that I have since not been able to let go of.
I have never in my life questioned my gender. But on a holiday with friends I spent the evening with 2 girls on our last night in the hotel. They were putting on make up and suddenly wondered what it would be like to be a girl and whether I'd enjoy it? 18 years of being a boy and not once have I been uncomfortable with gender. I constantly ask myself "what if" and I just can't stop the intrusive thoughts. However I have noticed that I don't think about it when I fully occupied but it always creeps back up on me at some point in the day.
The thoughts are distressing, intrusive and are controlling every day of my life. I need some help and I'm seeing a therapist soon. But any extra support you can give me would help right now.
Your thoughts do not appear to be an OCD. Since the thoughts ‘what if I was a woman’ are coming repeatedly when you are free and you are dwelling it on a lot, you may be having a transgender identity. In the initial stage the individual wonders what it would be like to be someone from the opposite sex. The individual may then cross dress. The individual may be heterosexual or homosexual.
So, in the initial stages, when people start having conflicting gender identity or thoughts related to that, they are taken up for therapy to channelize the thought process. During the therapy, many realize it was just a fleeting thought and learn ways to overcome these thought and be happy with the gender they are in. Others accept they have a transgender identity. If being transgender does not distress them and they accept it and are happy, then they do not need further therapy. If being transgender distresses them, then it is diagnosed as a gender identity disorder. These individuals are treated with medication, psychotherapy and in some cases with gender transition surgery.
So, it is a good idea that you are thinking of going through with therapy.
I sincerely hope you will find this information useful in your journey towards better health.
Good Luck and take care!
Sexuality is such a wonderful journey so play with it. Most men have had a play with dressing up as a women at some point so have ago and see how it feels. Find a helpful female friend you really trust or a transvestite that can help you. Drink some wine and enjoy its heaps of fun!
I'm about 6-7 weeks along. But For some reason I been feeling very depressed.I know this is a blessing,I just can't help feeling very depressed. I don't know what to do or if to seek help. I don't think of harming myself in anyway I just feel sad/depressed. Please give me advice.
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