Is my husband ill?

I have met a wonderful person 5 years ago. Nobody has ever loved me like him. All my friends and relatives used to say that all men behave themselves like him at first and later they become just regular husbands loving their wives but "not getting crazy of love". But my husband each day loved me more and more and up to date nothing has changed. I definitely can say that his love is growing daily. On one hand I am very happy to have loving husband but on the other hand I am afraid that he is too sensitive and easily getting nervous person. He is not jealous to me but It's not because he is not a jealous person. I just love him very much and will never look at any other man in my life.  

Except all the above mentioned the real fear I felt when I first noticed that he has a fear of people. Approximately, once a year he starts saying that some people are jealous of him, or some people are chasing him or some people are interested in killing him. I don't see any little reason for all his stories. He is just a student and not involved in any serious business and nobody should be interested in chasing or threatening him.
In general he is a very emotional person, very intelligent and very talented (has really good talent at singing and music), but I have always thought that he is different from others.

Several days ago same things started with him. Unfortunately, now he is abroad studying and I can contact him only through telephone. He is saying that little city that he is right now is full of his enemies and that anything may happen to him. He even gave me emergency telephone and credit card numbers in case if something happens to him. He tells me that only thing he wants to tell me is that he loves so much and he loves our son even more. At the same time he asks me not to tell anything to any other people because they will think that he got crazy.
I have a feeling that all this may be his illusion. I have noticed that it's useless to talk to him or assure him. He is obtaining his masters degree and it's crucial issue. Although, when I talk he listens. I am trying to be tender and loving wife. He asked me to pray for him and he thinks that only thing that can save him is his religion.

Also, while being his wife I have noticed that when he talks to people who have higher positions or are more intelligent or more smart or nicer than he his hands become cold like an ice.

He listens me most of all and I need to do something about him.

My questions are following:

1. Is it mental disorder like Shizophrenia or anything else?
2. Is his illness dangerous for my son?
3. Is his crazy love somehow related to his illness.
3. In what way shall I act? Shall I tell him that he needs to go to doctor or shall I tell him that he is right or wrong?
4. How can I help him in a distance?
5. How can I save my child from having the same mental disorders?

Even your general recommendations will be extremely helpful for me.

Thanks.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

It is impossible to say for sure, but it certainly sounds like the symptoms of a psychosis, which may be schizophrenic.  If so there is definetly good treatment for this with many new very effective drugs, and the best thing is for him to be seen by a competent well trained psychiatrist.

It is not uncommon for these symptoms to be exaggerated under times of stress like studying for exams, and this is consistent with his cold hands when relating to authority figures.  It is also quite true that his sensitivity of art and loving you and your child, which is a great strength and value, is also something that makes him more vulnerable to a mental illness like this may be.

My advice is to get him to a psychiatrist as quickly as you can.

[anairhoads]

Nikkie,

It sounds like you had a wonderful relationship with your husband up until recently.

I have a few questions for you:

1. Do you know if he has a family history of mental disorders, depression and the like?

2. How often would you say in 24 hours does he express these thoughts of paranoia?

3. Are there any factors in his environment that might justify his paranoia?

An overload of dopamine in the brain causes schizophrenia symptoms. This can happen to any of us, and there are treatments out there that can put schizophrenia into a dormant state. Too little dopamine affects us as well, but the higher level is most troubling. The symptoms are much like the ones you described in your post to us.

Please have tests done if he is willing. He may become paranoid, so coach him while he is in a normal state. You will notice he will go up and down with his emotions and paranoia. It won't be easy to get him to see a doctor, but try. You sound like a very good woman.. he will need your wonderful support.

Until you know what is causing this behaviour, be strong. Things will be ok soon. You will have the man you married again in no time.

Anai Rhoads