Long Term problems - Never addressed

I will try to keep this short, but the history of my problems reach way back so forgive me if it gets long:

Ever since I can remember I have cried easily.  Very easily.  Now, I pretty much have it under control but still feel it coming on and I have to fight it back harder than a normal person.  Sometimes I think back to the occasions that I have ruined because of my problem (family member's weddings, once when I was 5 and once when I was 10 or 11) and I still feel extremely guilty and embarassed to this day.  Those are just two occasions that stand out, there have been plenty of others.  I am 27 now and I am male.  

Now, instead of crying I have panic/anxiety attacks in social situations.  My face turns beet red, I sweat, and I pretty much lose ability to think clearly.  This has gotten so bad that I pretty much avoid social situations except for my really close friends and family.  Even in front of them I kind of lose it sometimes, just not to the extent it would be if they were strangers.

This makes for kind of a frustrating life because overall I am a good person, but I looking back, I kind of feel like I may have been born with a screw loose.  I have never been normal  It has obviously been an issue my whole life, just the symptoms are a bit different now.

I told my doctor about the anxiety/panic/sweating thing and she had my thyroid levels checked and that came back normal.   Other than that I haven't had any tests done to determine if this is a hormone imbalance or something else.  Where do I go from here?  I want to be a normal human being.  I don't want to feel guilty forever for the things that have happened in the past.  Thanks...  

[Abhijeet Deshmukh, MD]

Hello.

It appears to me that you might have to seek professional help for a possible social anxiety disorder. You might start with consulting a psychiatrist or a psychologist first, if you haven't, already. Since your problems are there since a long time, it will take quite some time and a lot of efforts for you to be able to manage your emotions. There are a few anti anxiety medicines you might want to try, with your psychiatrist's prescription. A combination of medication and therapy is known to be more effective than either of them alone.

The concept of normality is quite subjective. It will help if you are able to stop beating yourself up and start considering the possibility of a change. You have made it so far is spite of these issues. You can definitely do better.

Best Regards