Looking for help

[HawktheSlayer]

For a while now I have been in alot of pain I have had 3 failed back surgeries and now have a SCS unit installed, I am still taking pain meds but I feel that I have done more damage to my back. The SCS unit was helping out about 70-80% pain reduction. I thought it started not to help as much, which made me very mad, I now know that is not the issue if I turn the unit off I have pain not just un my left leg but also my right. It was not like this before the SCS unit was installed. And if the unit is off for more than a few munites the pain is off the chart. So I feel that the unit is still giving me about 40-50% reduction, also I have never been off the pain pills, I also take Lyrica to help. Now here is my problem I get almost no sleep I also take Ambiem 12.5mg and Trasimine to try and help they do not work anymore unless I stop taking them for a few weeks. And my work is trying to let me go as a health risk, So I have lots of pain, No sleep, and problems at work. I feel that with the pills I have and the fact that I am not able to see any of my Dr's for a month that it would be easier for me to end it all. I love my wife and kids they are my life but in my condition I feel that I am making their lives worse due to them alway worrying about me and not having a happy and fun life. I know that I want to get help but if I am able to keep my job going in for any mental health issues might make it worse, that might give them a reason for letting me go. I would like to hear anything you might be able to suggest. ALso I went to the ER once and my PMP told me it was a breach of contract. So I do not want to try and goto an ER again.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

R/
Adam

[HawktheSlayer]

Thank you for the help. I have talked to my primary care Dr and she has given me a new Anti-Depressant to try and also gave me the names of a few Dr's that might be able to help. Thank you again for your time I have told many ppl that without this site that I think I would not be here, I have met many ppl and everyone here is great helping out Thanks again for your advise and help in this matter.

R/
Adam

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

You must see your doctors as soon as possible, first to get sleep medication that works, and then to get an appointment with a psychiatrist on an emergency basis to help you through this crisis.  Pain itself is so depressing but lack of sleep makes everything worse...there must be some help for your pain so insist on appropriate medical attention, and make sure you see a psychiatrist, and think seriously about asking your doctor for antidepressant medication to get you through this low period...also, be sure and tell your wife about your thoughts of ending it all.. If you love your children you don't want to abandon them in this way. You can fight through this, and be a fun father again.