Marital Difficulties Increasing Depression and Thoughts of Suicide

Hi there,
I am 28 years old and my husband is 27. We have been together for 5 years and he is my best friend in the entire world. He is everything I could ever dream of - strong, handsome and motivated. About two years ago, our intimacy level dropped significantly. The only thing that happend at the time was that he got a cyst on his penis, which he had minor surgery on - I say 'minor' however, it was a really big deal. After his surgery, we stopped having sex. We havent had sex now in over a year, and the year before that we had sex maybe three times.
I have pretty severe depression - I've had it for years and have been treated for it since I was 18. I take Cipralex every day to help control my anxiety and depression. I fight with my husband all the time, at least once every four weeks - I get upset because he goes out to the bar every Saturday night with his friends. I get upset because he won't touch me. My self esteem is destroyed. I have talked to him about this, he says nothing is wrong, that he is attracted to me, but his actions say otherwise. He says the only reason we don't have sex is because i am "always in a bad mood". I believed for the longest time that he was having an affair and this week I discovered that he had met a 22 year old girl at the bar and added her to Facebook. He says he didn't have any intentions, but I don't believe him.
Now all I want to do is die - I just want to stop these feelings of inadequacy, sadness and anger. I'm not sleeping and am barely eating. I am so afraid of living my life without him. He won't go to therapy with me, and I don't know what else to do. I am at the end of my rope and am so afraid.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

You need to do two things...first you have to go to therapy, not just medications, and talk through your options, and the strategy for your  marriage.  Your husband has not left. His behavior expresses a certain degree of anger, and also avoidance. You have to be very strong and insist that he go into marital counseling with you to talk this thing through, and get back to the facts, and then deal with them accordingly.  There are many  obstacles to intimacy in marriage, and with good will and a little work, they can be worked out.