Mourning a Phantom

My mother died when I was a year old.  (I'm an adult now with my own adult children.) She is a phantom in my mind...someone who is always there and never really there.  It was suggested that I observe my own mourning process, and distinguish the different kinds of mourning. What are the "different kinds of mourning"....where can I learn more about that (books, articles, groups, internet sites).  Would watching sad movies that make me cry help the process??  I have a hard time with feelings--I'd much rather think.  Thank you.  You are a blessing to me.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

Since I am the one who made that suggestion, its good you are asking me here.  I believe you took one of the solution sessions at masteringstress.com

What I meant was that you would go through the mourning of loss of the person you mentioned who is real and present, and when feeling sad, think carefully about what you are feeling and see whether some or most of the feeling doesn't "belong" to the loss of your mother rather than this other person.  Its not a matter of reading anything, its a matter of thinking and sorting through your feelings as they naturally occur.