How do you live peacefully with a controlling person? My husband is extremely controlling and mentally abusive. He does
not take responsibilty for his actions. He blames me for everything. He says I have a borderline disorder. I can see where I have some of the symptoms but the only times I have been really angry with him were in response to his abusive
episodes. He treats me like a child. How do I deal with a strong willed adult? Currently we are separated because he was
not happy with my behavior. How do I speak to him without
making him angry or feel like I am manipulating him?
It is unfortunate that you are having difficulties in your marriage. Dealing with a controlling person is not easy. Often in a marriage, couples develop a pattern of interaction that is difficult to change, even when it is abusive and unrewarding.
You had mentioned that he had referred you as having borderline disorder. If this is true, it may hamper your relationships. Borderline personality disorder is characterized as having an extraordinarily unstable mood and self-image. Because people with this disorder feel both dependent and hostile, they usually have unstable relationships. In addition, they distort relationships by considering each person to be either all good or all bad.
An assessment by a trained marital counselor will help both you and your husband. Marital problems are never the result of one person alone.
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