No One Understands What I Going Through...Self-Deliverence Solution?

  Hi,  Well here I am 33 year-old female going through major health problems for three years with acompaning depression.  I have to under go brain surgery to relieve my constant headache and pressure being put on brain stem.  Sometimes, What I want most is to just die.  I can't take living like this anymore. I don't have any good days anymore.  My head hurts so bad that I want to take the black & decker drill and drill some holes in my head.  My family and co-workers don't understand what I am going through.  They think I just need to take Prozac to feel better.  I just don't want to wake up anymore and deal with one more bad day. It is funny the doctors don't want to give me narcotics for my pain, but they finally agree that I need to have this operation.  They don't want me to become dependant on narcotics, I don't understand what a person has to do to get something to relieve chronic pain. I really don't care if I become an addict.
  It just seems taking this bottle of pills in front of me is the right thing to do.  Sure it is the easy way out but what I have to look forward to possiblity paralyses, being a burden to my family.
  I will make everyone suffer with me.  It is time for me to get out!  Life *****!
  Sincerely, Anna

[HFHS.MD-AJ]

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Dear Anna,
I am sorry to hear that you are having so many problems. Your symptoms of depressed mood, loss of pleasure, thoughts of death and suicide, guilt, irritability, and hopelessness suggest a diagnosis of a form of depression termed Major Depression, which is exacerbated by your pain. Pain and depression often go hand in hand. Major Depression can be successfully treated with psychotherapy and medications. It is important to continue working with your doctors, and to seek evaluation of your depression by a psychiatrist. If you feel suicidal, it is imperative that you talk to your family and doctors immediately. Without knowing much about the disorder which is causing your pain, I agree that pain control is essential. For severe organic pain, analgesics are appropriate, with dependence on narcotics being a secondary consideration.
I hope you find this information helpful. It is provided for educational purposes only, and should not replace consultation with your doctors. Henry Ford Behavioral Services provides confidential evaluation and treatment, available by calling [phone] for an appointment.
*Keyword: major depression