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Paralysed by indecision
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Paralysed by indecision

Indecision has plagued my life. It may not seem like a big problem, but the years I've wasted becoming so anxious about choices i have to make have been, at times, agonising, I have now been in a state of indecision paralysis over a relationship for over a year. And before that it was about a job, and before I had big decisions to worry about I'd do the same with all the little ones. I've weighed up pros and cons and obsessed about potential outcomes till I've been in tears. I've had to leave my job because of anxiety, and have managed to bore/stress everyone around me to distraction with my constant indecision. The problem is that once I've 'made' a decision, it doesn't feel complete in my head. It still always feels unmade and I literally worry myself sick about it (is this an OCD thing? I do have a diagnosis of it, but for other reasons ie intrusive thoughts and compulsions, but not indecision). I really can't seem to stop. I'm hurting people all the time because I can't decide who to go out with, and the guilt (though I rightfully deserve it) is killing me. Please help me with some advice on how to make a decision, and for it to feel 'made', so that this torment can end, and more importantly so that I can stop hurting people. Thank you
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there are several ways to think about this...the first is more classical, and that is what  you are obsessing about is really something other than it appears, something deeper which is being masked by the more superficial.  Another way is to think about this as a way of saying to yourself that you don't have complete ownership of your own life and therefore can't take a risk of any consequence. That means you don't accept yourself as a human being with limited power to  predict the future; and you don't accept that reality is difficult, and that  you will make bad decisions in life and you will have to learn how to repair bad decisions and avoid them in the future..but all that is part of being an adult...something you may be afraid to accept.
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