Performance Anxiety

[mwshallcr]

I am 22 year old male and have had sexual performance anxiety for about 2 years now. Everytime I go to the docters they don't seem to have much that they can do or tell me about it. So lately it's gotten so bad that i just walk around all day and worry about it. I was starting to slip into a constant depression so i went back to the docters. They prescribed to me Lexipro. I think from what I've read this is for constant anxiety and since i now have developed it I was going to take it. But then i read the side effects. Loss of sex drive, Inabilaty to get an erection and so on. I was wondering if it is even a good idea for me to start taking Lexapro or if this will just make the problem worse. Please Help. I'm so tired of this.

[viv65]

not even sure what or who my question goes to.  I have been married 6 years to a wonderful man.  He has never had much of a sex drive, and his erections are not what would be considered firm.  We have 2 wonderful children, so his sperm count is fine, but he has no sex drive whatsoever.  We've had sex once in the past 2 years.  He isn't having an affair, he just doesn't seem to think about sex.  I don't know.  I've asked him if he has ever had that "gotta have it"  horny feeling for anyone and he says he hasn't.  Is this an emotional problem, physical problem, what?  Any thoughts?

[crazyandconfused]

well, after reading some posts I felt I should post one myself.  I have been through much of the same complications as you all.  24 years old and wondering wtf is wrong with me sexually.  what's odd is that everything else in my life is good.  Not that stressful of a life, good job/career, work out and stay in shape.  When I've had a girlfriend sex has been great. Single and slamming? Not so much.  I think performacne anxiety is the explanation for my problem. Its so crappy because even when I'm say dating a girl for a few weeks I fail to achieve an erection to perform sexually. And recently I'll just stop dating a girl because at what point is she going to think I must be gay if I don't sleep with her?  Now if you want to feel a little bit better go to the urology forum.  Although, I went there and could literally relate to some of the issues.  I can still masterbate but am much less interested and aroused in general.  And as of recently don't wake up erect in the morning as much.  This last weekend I even tried viagra.  Was totally erect but as soon as the girl I was with got naked and jumped in bed it went away....Is that possible?  we all need to kick this ****** *** problem.  I've been to a doctor and have found reading that other people deal with this B.S very comforting.  Any ideas for my crazy and confused self?

[calvin3000]

Hi There I am a 33 year old male suffering from performance anxiety for 15 years, It is a mental thing that deveolps once in a relationship as I have no problem with an errection on one night stands or masturbating. I have had therapy and am now trying cialis. I have found it to work some of the time but does nothing for the anxiety and if this is really high before a particular sexual encounter with my girlfriend then no errection and even more anxiety. anyone else find this a problem with cialis viagra etc ???? I know the medicatio is to help break the loop in my head but now it just seems to be part of it.

[ludapilot]

This might be a silly question but; how often do you masturbate? This might be the source of your low sex drive. I notice that it is much easier for me to have an erection, and my sex drive increases within the time period that I cease masturbation. I feel much more sexually charged when I stop masturbating. Maybe this could be it? You cant expect to masturbate  several times a day and have sex with your girlfriend afterwards. Its just impossible unless you are in extremely good shape and take suppliments and have a good diet. Once you see what your underlieing problem is, your sexual function will get right back up without having to worry. Save it for your girlfriend or wife!!My two cents.

[maggarwa]

Hello All,
my sister is going through similar stuff as you all right now and i have found a new hope and thats the reason i am posting this. Please look into amino acid therapy, go to your book store, get this book by Julia Ross called "mood cure". There are natural ways of dealing with anxiety and depression and thats through 5-HTP and amino acids and without any side effects.
Also, read this articles,
http://www.naturalhealthweb.com/articles/Nelson4.html
http://www.fibromyalgiacfsstore.com/healthnews305.html

good luck to you all. Please do not stop your medicines cold turkey because you will go through hell. The key is to start amino acid therapy and then slowly wean off the prescription medicine. Amino acids r available in nutrition food stores and GNCs

[rexthedestroyer]

I am having the same problem and I 27.  It definately is nerves.  Will using "the pill" help out for the first few times?  I don't want to depend on it, but I would like the added support.

Last night I was masterbating to lesbian porn, and then a girl I know called for phone sex and I jst started to get nervous and lost my wood.  While I was talking to her on the phone I was watching porn and that still did not help.  Eventually she started talking about giving me oral and I got aroused and was able to perform, but if I am having anxiety for phone sex you can only imagine what real life feels.

[BenjaminSpicer]

Sexual dysfunction is almost never psychologically caused.Where performance anxiety is the cause the patient typically has normal morning erections and can achieve erection alone when masturbating.

Seen as in your case you dont ,it is almost definate that there is an underlying physical cause for your erectile dysfunction .A male of 22 should be waking up `rock solid` even when he has no interest in sex.

[BenjaminSpicer]

Viagra doesnt increase labido so is not a solution at all for a depleted sex drive.Prozac is used to treat premature ejaculation and is a very damaging drug that has irreversible effects

[mwshallcr]

Well i started taking Lexapro for about 5 days now. It kinda helps with the day to day anxiety but as far as when im with a girl the stress is still there. I dont see a decrease in sex drive except for the feelings of rather avoiding the whole situation due to the stress. I have to go to the docs again in a week to let him know whats going on. Im going to ask about viagra and cialis as well as wellbutrin. I also am checking out the program that stressandanxiaty posted above. I am pretty sure that we both know its in our head but after so many years of dealing with this it is pretty much a part of us and there must be a mental training that has to happen if we are going to get anywhere. I'll keep you posted on what is going on with me with the self help thing. I think it might have a chance to work cause it makes sence from what i've lisened to so far.

[redeye56]

I know it's been only a couple of days, but have you found anything you think could help?  I'm in the same boat, 24 years old and performance anxiety for 6 years.  The last 2 years I was in a relationship and for the first time I didn't have any issues whatsoever.  The 4 years before that it was bad enough I was taking viagra just to hook up for one night stands.  I was also in a 3 year relationship that I needed to rely on viagra for.  Anyways, after breaking up with my most recent girlfriend that was sexually speaking perfect, I was with a new girl and the performance anxiety picked right up again.  I really think I worry about it too much while I'm with a girl, instead of being caught up in the moment like I should be.  I want to get on medication to help anxiety, but I'm afraid of all the sexual side effects that are related to them.  Please let me know if you or anyone else has come up with a solution.  This should not be something an otherwise healthy 22 or 24 year old should worry about it, but for some reason it's all I spend my days even thinking about.

[stressandanxiaty]

Anxiety can be quite scary and in some cases
medication is a good solution, but
I find the ease with which doctors write prescriptions rather
disturbing. Anxiety is a very common
mental health issue, and one that can be worked through. Sometimes it's
best to figure things out
for yourself. I personally used a program at SelfTherapy.org which I
though was terrific - it
literally ended my anxiety and panic attacks within days. Perhaps your
solution lies elsewhere.
But I urge you to not be too quick to pop pills that will numb your
desire to find a real
solution. I wish you the best!

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

You are right, those are the side effects, and also the side effects of that whole family of drugs.  Ask your doctor about welllbutrin, and also, ask him re cialis or one of the other performance drugs that might give you some success experiences and decrease your anxiety.

[laneybuns]

I know this might sound silly but take Viagra in small doses.  My husband is on Prozac and has the same problem - very low sex drive.  This is not only hard on a marriage but frustrating for him.  Ask your doctor for it - but only try it when you have the opportunity.  Read the instructions clearly.  You know, Wellbutrin has been proven to not lower sex drive.  I hear it is a very good medicine that also has other potential advantages.  just an idea.  You are only 22 and have just started your adult wonderful experiences with sex.  Try everything you can. And, viagra works for women too although not advertised often.  I myself have imbibed

[Abeybaby]

I took Lexapro and did not have any issues at all. One side effect which most ssri's have is delayed ejaculation which could be a great thing? Weight gain is another but not signficant. It impacts people differently but my experience was very good. I needed it for about 6 months and went of slowely.