Questions about my diagnosis

[rBoulet]

I've been questioning my diagnosis for the past couple of months so I figured I'd ask on this forum and see what a doctor thinks about it.
I was seeing a psychiatrist for a few years but she stopped seeing me after diagnosing me with borderline personality disorder. She also diagnosed me with dysthymia, social anxiety disorder, and obsessive-compulsive features.
I was originally thought to have bipolar disorder and psychosis NOS but to be quite honest I'd prefer the diagnosis of borderline seeing as this way I don't need to take medication. The borderline covers a wide range of my problems, but it's the other diagnoses I question.
I don't think I have social anxiety disorder, but I'm given medication for it. I do have problems in crowded places, or speaking/eating in public places when I'm not with anyone familiar, but if I'm with a friend or family member I have no problems at all in public. I also can't go somewhere I've never been before without a friend or family member. Is this social anxiety disorder or was my doctor wrong?
I also question dysthymia, after looking it up it has confused me quite a bit. This disorder says nothing about being suicidal, and yet I've been suicidal for a large part of my life (for the past 11 years I'd say I've been suicidal more days than not). If I'm suicidal would that change the diagnosis of dysthymia to major depressive disorder? There's also the issue of when I become more depressed I often become psychotic, which doesn't fit into dysthymia at all as far as I can tell.
As far as having obsessive-compulsive traits, I have no idea what that entails. As far as I'm concerned I'm as far from OCD as you can get, the only times I worry or become obsessive about anything are when I'm depressed and I have no compulsions.

I'd ask a doctor here all these but I have none right now. I have an intake appointment for a mental health service place at the end of October but I was hoping for at least a bit of insight before then.

[Jaquta]

I disagree with some of what the doctor writes.  I believe labels do matter.
What is most important is that you do what works best for you.
I agree that you should discuss the medication and also the suicidality and yes the depression.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

Unfortunately this whole issue of assigning a diagnosis is quite confusing to patients...think of the diagnositic labels as simply ways to  describe what you are feeling and not as specific entities that require a certain kind of treatment...you should discuss the medications with your doctor when you meet, and forget about the diagnosis...you should focus on the issue of suicidality and depression and see if you can find the source of this distress....work on the real problems, the labels don't matter.

[Jaquta]

I'm just another member but I have experience with some of those disorders.

Firstly, it's a good thing to question diagnoses.  No one ever likes to be labeled or be put in a box -especially one that doesn't fit.

You should never take medication for something you don't believe you have.  Psychiatrists often over-prescribe and over-medicate patients.  I accept it is a bit difficult challenging a doctor when you don't have access to one.

It does sound like it may be social anxiety.  I'm not sure though.  I started out with a diagnosis of social phobia but I haven't seen it mentioned for a long time.  People just tend to use anxiety disorder (or GAD or NOS).  Anxiety can form a large part of bpd too.

That's a hard one.  Suicide is part of the bpd diagnosis.  I guess if you were feeling extremely suicidal then it could follow that you are depressed, however, because your mood is probably chronically low then dysthymia would probably be the more appropriate diagnosis.  If you've experienced depression, you'll understand this.
People with bpd often experience low mood a lot of the time.
It is probably more likely that you will have dysthymia most of the time but occasionally have periods where you are depressed.  Depression if not treated will often resolve itself so it is also extremely unlikely that you would have been depressed for the past 11 years (although your mood may have been low).

With severe depression you can have psychotic features.  Also, with bpd, when you get extremely stressed you may experience transient psychotic stuff too.  This is short-lived and you should be OK at reality testing (which makes it different from other psychotic disorders).

You could try looking the diagnoses up in the dsm-iv.  That may help you better understand what the disorder is comprised of.
When you do have access to a doctor you may like to question the diagnoses you're not happy with or ask them to explain them.

What I personally have found is that you're often given labels you don't want and the ones you feel do apply are rejected.  Sometimes we can deny we have a disorder though because it is not something we want or are ready to accept.  Diagnoses can challenge us in more ways than one.  Some can turn our whole world upside down.

I don't know if that helps or has just confused you even more.

I have been diagnosed with bpd and out of all the treatments I have received I have found psychoanalytical psychotherapy to be the most effective.

DBT is also a treatment often pushed for bpd.  If you wanted some support till your intake appointment, etc you could try looking up some of the dbt classes or bpd support groups through the net or yahoo health groups.

Good luck.

J