Re: 13yr old daughter

Posted By Vivian on June 11, 1999 at 14:35:37
I will try my best to consolidate this.  Ever since my daughter was around five, she has had behavior that was uncontrollable when she did not get what she wanted or was angry.  She would hurt people around her and have no remorse but a sense of accomplishment.  A 30-day eval at a hospital stated she had sociopathic tendancies.  (I removed her out of disbelief) As the years progressed thing got worse with violence, failing school, telling teachers and me where to go, will not do anything unless there is something in it for her. She has had one thing after another to deal with, with not enough time in between to cope. She suffered 3rd degree burns over 30% of her body at age 6mo., is permanently scared, has grown up witnessing domestic violence, and recently gone through a divorce, a 30-day shelter, switching schools and homes, an alcoholic father who is constantly rejecting her.  I sought help because I feel her slipping away from life (so-to-speak), she's angry, hurt and does not know what to do with this life she's had.  I told the therapist all this and more.  The therapist wants to medicate for A.D.D.???(after a 20min. test was given).  I am afraid to trust the diagnosis, when no other areas have been looked into, so quick of a judgment, and has not even attempted to get to the bottom of any of the problems that Crystal has had to cope with.  She defied all help I sought before, but now she's ready--and this is what she's told--"Take a pill". Do you feel that with what little I have told you, that there may be a different underlying problem?  I really need to get her help now, before I lose her.  Lately, when caught stealing money from me, knowing she was in trouble, bolted out the door and I couldn't find her--I returned home to find out that she called the police and said I was beating her and I spent hours trying to assure them that I have never laid a hand on her and that she was getting even with me.  I don't know if this is enough info. for you, but I need to know if I should get a second opinion--if I allow medication and she's been misdiagnosed I have a much bigger problem on my hands, and more problems for her to overcome!  That's it, sorry so long.   Vivian

[Rae__0__0]

Posted By Rae on June 12, 1999 at 04:42:22
  You sound like you really have your hands full! I have 3 boys and a husband all with ADD. The first one diagnosed went from expecting to repeat 6th grade in March to testing out of every class he had in Sept. and was a 4.0 student thru his Sr. year. he is now pre-Med and it is because of the ADD medication. (They all have been on time release Dexadrine.)
  It helps the person to see how others are reacting to them. It can take away a lot of the 'ME' thing. For instance my husband always asked others to get things for him. As soon as he started the medicine he noticed that others were busy and he should go get his own drink of water. We were all thrilled at the change in his behavior. (The pill wore off at 8 p.m. and we were right back where we started.) After a while he was able to change his habits on his own and life has been much better ever since.
  ADD Meds are a matter of try it and if it works you have ADD. If it doesn't work then it is most likely something else. It is more of an experiment to begin with but it is certainly worth a try. After dealing with it for ten years I could pick an ADDer out just by watching them in a class room. (I teach music not psyc.) It took 10 min. of talking for our first one to be diagnosed. - The Dr. wanted to get the rest of the family history first but if you know what you are looking for it can be pretty obvious.
     Also it is mostly hereditary and a lot of alchoholics are really just self-medicating for ADD. She had to get it from one of you so. . .  
   I'd give it a try. It won't be the whole answer for her, but if it works it will give her more control. Nobody said she has to stay on it if it doesn't work. Hope things get better for you.
  

   P.S. If you have time to read you should get a copy of "You Mean I'm Not Dumb, Stupid, or Crazy?" You really need to understand the way ADD affects people. They don't do stuff just to make you mad, it is part of ADD. I have to keep reading to stay aware of what they do because of ADD and what is actual misbehaving. There is lots of material in print. Good Luck!










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