Re: Please help me, at the end of my rope!!!

Posted By Bernadette on April 19, 1999 at 13:17:43
Up until a year ago I never had any health problems.  March of 1998, I found a lump in my breast and the doctor I went to wouldn't do anything, except tell me to watch the lump for two months.  For two months I did nothing but cry, think the worst and watch the lump.Since then my life has taken a drastic spiral downwards.  I'm a divorced mom of two boys who have no contact with their father.  I thought I was going to die because of this lump.  Since then my body has fallen apart.  Everything hurts and aches me, I have had so many tests done and nothing life threatening has come out of it.  But everyday I search my body for new things that might be wrong, new moles, new veins that show, new anything.  Lately I feel as though I can't swallow, I know that I do have some kind of throat infection right now.  
My point, my point is that my life has stopped.  This is on my mind 24/7 and I have no peace.  I have done everything I could think of to tell myself that I am okay, but I cry all the time about this,  I'm afraid my children will be alone with nobody.  I'm afraid that I'm dying, but nobody has found what is wrong with me yet.  I am always tired, my eyes always red, my neck and my upper body aches, can't swallow.  I am on Serzone 150 mg. a day right now, also taking .5 mg of Lorazepam.  I get headaches everyday and sometimes just wish they would find what is wrong at least if I knew I could find a way to live with this.  HELP ME PLEASE, I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH MORE I CAN TAKE OF THIS WITHOUT BEING LOCKED UP!  I DON'T EVEN SPEND TIME WITH MY CHILDREN BECAUSE I DON'T WANT THEM TO GET ATTACHED TO ME IN CASE I AM DYING.  OH GOD, SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME.

[Carol__0__0]

Posted By Carol on June 03, 1999 at 00:25:05
Hi Bernadette,
You didn't mention how old you were, but you sure sound like me!  I also have most of your symptoms; body aches, headaches, anxiety, depression, the whole nine yards!  Have you seen your OB-GYN to see if your pre-menapausal?  You have all the sypmtoms, including the paranoia.  When my symptoms started showing up I thought I had some major illness so I went to my doctor.  After telling him everything, my doctor sent me to my OB-GYN and I found out I was starting to change life.  I went off the wall because I felt I was too young.  My doctor calmed me down and said every women is different and that my life was CHANGING, NOT ENDING.  He said that hormones do crazy things to your body and mind and it affects some women so badly they may think you're going crazy.  The down side is it could take years to go through it, but the upside is that it's only temporary and there is help.  I even had a lump in my breast a few years back and I was scared to death.  I had the lump removed and it wasn't anything.  The majority of the lumps that women get are nothing to worry about, SO GET A BIOPSY SO YOU CAN HAVE PEACE OF MIND and don't take no for an answer.  Please talk to someone and don't be afraid.  E-mail me if you want, even if it's just to talk.
SMILE!
Carol










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