Re: recommended treatment...need info

Posted By suicidal thoughts on August 10, 1999 at 11:26:16
i an see by all the questions posted that you guys are very busy, but i posted a question below tied to suicidal thoughts...need to know. i need some input on my next course of action. please see the post below. i'm sorry to add to your already packed board, but this situation is very frightening to me. i'v heard so much, good and bad that i need some facts. its a double edge sword, as the alternative is just as frightening.       thanks, need to know

[HFHS.MD-AJ]

Posted By HFHS.MD-AJ on August 14, 1999 at 15:46:02
Suicidal thoughts,
It is imperative that you inform your psychiatrist about your suicidal ideation - these thoughts are not uncommon in people suffering from depression. I do not know how long you have been on Effexor and Remeron. Antidepressants may take up to 6-8 weeks before you feel their full beneficial effects. Your psychiatrist may want to increase your doses of Effexor and Remeron, or try other antidepressants if the ones you are on have not been helpful. Combining antidepressants with cognitive-behavioral therapy or interpersonal therapy is often beneficial.
Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) is a safe and effective treatment for major depression, in those patients who have failed adequate antidepressant medication trials, are unable to tolerate antidepressants, are acutely suicidal or homicidal, have severe or psychotic symptoms, or have profound stupor or agitation.  
This response is provided for general educational purposes only. Always consult your physician for any health concerns.
Keywords: depression, antidepressants, ECT, cognitive-behavioral therapy, interpersonal therapy

[suicidal-thoughts]

Posted By suicidal thoughts on August 14, 1999 at 18:54:47
i have told my psychiatrist about my thoughts, and that they are almost constantly on my mind. i have decided how and where, i just have to figure out how to make sure my family doesn't have ANY GUILT, and to figure out the beat way to help them to understand. i think i may have solved this. i just feel as though each way i turn there is a roadblock thrown in front of me and i can not do this any more. we have been going through a wide variety of drugs, effexor was stopped because of nausea, and remeron was stopped to try serzone. on serzone for 10 days now and actually feel more despondant and want to cry alot of the time. i just have come to the conclusion that the drugs wont work and if this is the  life that lay ahead of me, i am ready to die.i am not sure when i wake up if i'll be here for nightfall. it going downhill fast. i just dont have the desire to  fight anymore. this has been going on a long time, too long and i am just too tired to fight it any longer. and it would be hard for me to consider ect. i have heard horror stories. i researched on the internet, and i think i found out more than i needed to know. is ect done on an inpatient or outpatient basis? what are the risks involved? do arrhythmias cause a risk? is there a chance that it would not work? what then? sorry but i'm filled with questions, and i really need to know more in order to consider this. and first and foremost, i have to decide if it is better than the alternative. thanks, need to know.....

[Ana-C]

Posted By Anna C on August 14, 1999 at 21:12:47
PLEASE READ!  I beg of you not to do this thing you feel you want to do.  It is not the answere.  I have a son who suffers bi-polar illness so I know alot about your pain of depression and your sad days.  I am going to tell you as tho you were my own.  Where there is life, there is always hope.  Do not give up, that's easy, F-i-g-h-t !  You can win this battle, keep trying, do not be afraid of ect.  I have seen wonderful results with this treatment.  I forgot to mention that my husband also suffered from depression when he was younger.  He also had ect.  and that was 25 years ago.  We have been together through alot and he is a very strong man today.  You can get better, do not let your fear of something lead you to a wrong decision.  Concentrate on getting better instead of all these fears.  Do not let your fears win.  Last but not least, If you have not already, TRY PRAYER!  You will be in mine tonight for I know your pain.

[suicidal-thoughts]

Posted By suicidal thoughts on August 14, 1999 at 21:51:06
i have prayed and prayed, just one sign that the future may hold hope. all fails. i am afraid, i dont know what scares me more, etc or this life. i am not me anymore, i try to find myself , just a glimpse and i cant see the person i was. i feel like i'm already dead. i do try to find hope, but this continues day after day and i have been through drug after drug and nothing works. its hard for me to continue this battle that feels already lost. i feel as though it is inevitable. i just dont have the fight in me anymore. strenght and courage were lost a long time ago. thank you for your thoughts, and i hope for a successful resolution to your sons condition. needs to know.

[AnaC]

Posted By AnnaC on August 15, 1999 at 09:49:58
You are doing better than you think or you could not have shown interest in my son.  He is going to be 35 soon.  He has had some really really bad times. Also has been suicidal, has been sick since he was 26.  He also has enjoyed some times in these years, also had bad a time with alot of meds.  Almost died 1 time. He did have ect about 2 years ago, he had some fears, but decided he did not have anything to lose, for he felt like you.  My son also had voice halucinations. He trusted his Drs, and went for it.  Glad he did. He took about 12.  It really got him out of the depression phase fast.  I am not trying to convince you to do the same, I am just trying to show you that it is not the horror story you may think.  One thing, you must have faith in your Dr.  This is very important in any recovery..My son now goes to 7 counties and they have really helped him more than when he was in private psychiatry. I always thought that it was just for persons who did not have insurance, but I found out that it is for anyone.  They have everything you need there and always have a hot line in emergencys.  I also belong to NAMI,(National Alliance for the Mentally Ill)  a wonderful, informative organization for the person that is ill and the family.  This is a family affair, if you are to get better.  Trust your family members, ask for their help, they would want you too.  If you love them, include them in your need for help.  You would only hurt them more to deny them the opertunity to help you.  I can't help but wonder how old you are, however it does not matter that much, I think it might help you , if you had more insight into your illness.  One thing I want you to think about.  God does not always give a sign, but does help us in our thinking and ablities to perform or go on when we think we cannot on our own.  I always remember this in real times of my own stressful times.  "We are weak, but he is strong."  Life is not easy always for anyone.  We all have our cross to bear.  Pray for the strength that you need to face each day, even on good days and expect to receive that blessing, for you will in some way.  Give your fears to him for awhile. You are worrying alot right now.  Remember, sometimes it seems darkest before the dawn. One thing, exercise is very good, ( a nice long walk will sometimes relieve alot of stress)  I do this and it brings good results.  Staying busy as  much as possible helps take the mind off your troubles.  I am not preaching to you, tho I could see where you might think that I am.  I am not a Dr. but I have lived long enough to know that we have to do alot of the hard work ourselves in order to get better.  Please re-think your situation and with God's help and the people around you, You just might find that there may be a bright side. I will keep you in my thoughts today as I go about my day..  Do not fail to keep in close contact with your Drs. as well.  Have a good day, something good may be just around the corner.

[-suicidal-thoughts]

Posted By  suicidal thoughts on August 16, 1999 at 01:06:19
anna, what you fail to understand is that i am having alot of physical difficulties, have had to stop working, have lost so much weight and strenth that i cannot forsee a happy ending. you say your son had ect, but you also say he still has problems, so its obviously not a permanent solution. i cannot enjoy walks or shopping with my family, even be left alone with my 6 month old grand daughter because i am so unsteady physically. this has been ongoing for almost 3 years and there has been no relief. i am not physically on emotionally able to keep up the fight. prayer is ongoing, but i am losing faith. i reesent your implying that i have made little effort. i have tried, i have hoped, i have believed that something would work and let me live my life again. i have just been through so many drugs and my hopes have deserted me. some things are just not meant to be. and i have complete insight into my illness. something i wish i had never heard of.    sui thts

[AnaC]

Posted By AnnaC on August 16, 1999 at 08:44:04
I am so sorry that you misunderstood me.  I do believe you want to be well. AS for my son, There is no cure for manic-depressive illness, ( bi-polar) But he is doing very well.  He will always be on meds.  I still wish you well always.
P.S.  He took his treatments as an outpaient.

[Ana__0__0]

Posted By Anna on August 16, 1999 at 19:27:59
I've thought about you all day, for I sure would not want to hurt your feelings.  You were right, I didn't realize you were so physically ill.  I really did miss that, I thought it was all due to depression.  This did shed a different light on things.  I can certainly understand your discouragement.  Please accept my sincere regrets that I may have gave you the wrong impression. If you see this, I just want to say, I hope you have had a better day. I really do hope you are seeing some improvement soon.  Good Luck.

[suicidal-thoughts]

Posted By suicidal thoughts on August 16, 1999 at 20:33:44
i appreciate your thoughts, its a hard situation to understand, even for me. i had to take my 13 year old son shopping and get him ready to go back to school and my daugher and my mother joined us. we also me my sister and  brother in law for brunch. so it was a trying (shopping with an opinionated 13 year old) and enjoyable and exhausting day.i am glad i was able to go, but i am also glad to be back home. you have not hurt my feelings, and i am glad for the advice and your thoughts. thanks,    sui thts

[bentherebefore]

Posted By beentherebefore on August 17, 1999 at 09:12:26
I've been where you are before. Meds don't work, life doesn't seem worth living, it's pretty black and hopeless and so you try to find the most lethal plan you can think of while trying to alleviate the guilt of others. Oh yeah, that sounds familiar. And I wasn't very healthy at all--I was SEVERELY underweight with some heart trouble from the malnutrition. I was on every antidepressant under the sun. THey all gave me side effects, they were uncomfortable physically and perhaps most disappointing, they really didn't help my depression at all. Then I had 6 bilateral ECTs. They are no big deal and they can be incredibly helpful, yes even for the double depression of dysthymia and major depressive disorder, recurrent severe! They can be done inpatient or outpatient. If you do them outpatient someone else has to drive you. Your memory of the week or two you undergo the treatment will be a little fuzzy, but other than that your memory is fine. The depression starts to lift, you start to have more energy. Many people go on to live their life never to be depressed again, others get an occasional outpatient ECT tune-up (sort of like maintenance. Just because it isn't a cure for one person, does not mean it won't be a cure for you. ECTs can give you the energy you need in order to do the psychological work it really sounds like you need to do. I would also recommend looking at Marsha Linehan's Skills Training Manual. It's for BPD-(lots of people have BPD Traits without having the disorder), targets suicidal and parasuicidal behavior and addresses some of the thought processes and emotions you have displayed here...it teaches some important effective coping skills, and those never hurt to have! ECTs may well "cure" your depression and make you less suicidal, but really...you will still have to do some work on your perceptions and how you view yourself, your life, and the world...A therapist can guide you through the process, but I'm afraid you'll have to do the work yourself. If you are realistic, you will survive and move onto thrive. Hold onto your hope (which you do have, even though I'm sure you feel as if you don't have any hope left. You have some or you wouldn't be here reading and asking questions. I applaud your efforts!<--and I recognize that that positive feedback may be hard for you to hear) Be courageous and fight for your life! Don't throw it away!










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