I have cut myself in the past but lately the level to which I injure myself is so bizarre and weird that I can't face it myself let alone tell anyone. I have to find a way where it doesn't have so much power over me. I hate this. I wish I would just do it one time real well so that it will end. How do I tell someone about this. I am a smart woman. there is no reason for this. That just makes it worse. I should be able to logically think my way through this but they take over and I end up doing it anyway. What the hell is the matter with me????
The one thing I know is wrong with you is your pride that says you should be able to figure this out yourself. When something is so deep and powerful as you describe, you are dealing with unconscious mentation, which by definition is outside your awareness. You must see a professional therapist as soon as possible. I would consider this an emergency.
HEY, before you do any harm to yourself, take a breath and let yourself calm.
First of all,
what's wrong which makes you feel that you wanted to suicide?
are you feeling physically ill? any physical symptoms of illness which doctors can't explain? IF NOT, then why is it that you think you should end your life at this stage? btw, how old are you?
the reason I ask the question above, is becoz I wanted to answer my self problem too.
Sounds as if you are desperately in need for progessional intervention. There are some excellent sites on line to educate yourself regarding "Self Harm," which are extremely beneficial in assisting the process of understanding why you are hurting yourself. As an intelligent person, obviously you recognize that this is unhealthy behavior and stems from other emotional issues that have gone untouched. It is an excellent first step in self recognizing that there does in fact exist an issue and that the acts are unhealthy; obviously the next step is to seek professional counseling. It may also be beneficial to entrust a close family member or friend regarding what you are enduring so that they may assist you in recovery and protecting yourself. As the doctor mentioned, you do need emergency help.
I went for help. I don't think I will go back. I toldhim about putting a screwdriver through my forearm and he flipped out. He needs to let me talk. It flips me out more than he would know. I think he hates I actually told someone especially him. He said he hears lots of things and not to worry and please come back...but he's just flipped out. I can hear him sigh with relief as I leave. I did really mess up my arm He wants that fixed first. I left. If he's flipped out, think about telling a regular doctor.
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