Sub personalities

[chris]

I am 42 years old. 6 months ago I was flooded with memories of
childhood sexual abuse and torture. I have been in therapy for 15 months for servere depression and panic attacts. I can't seem to connect with my feelings. I do have traits of BPD. I feel very fragmented. There are several parts of me, the ones who actually experienced the abuse. They have filled in a lot of information about my memories. It is easier for me to accept the abuse, if I see it as happening to them. I do not think I am a multiple!!! I don't have all the  charateristics. I was wondering if I can have "my girls" and be some what normal? Does this happen to people who have gone through hellish sadistic abuse?  Do these sub personalities (as I call them) mean that I am really multiple? The internal pressure of not knowing how to experience the fear is pushing me to close to the edge. I know I need to integrate, but I need their help to do so. I find if I act like they don't exist, I do much worse.I feel like I am going to lose my mind. I trust my therapist. He is very good. But my story is the worst he has ever heard. I don't think he is comfortable with how strong my girls are.

[HFHS.MD-AJ]

It is unfortunate that you suffered sexual abuse as a child. Both Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personality Disorder) and Borderline Personality Disorder may be associated with a history of childhood abuse, as well as co-morbid depression and anxiety. Both disorders often cause significant impairment in social, occupational, and/or academic functioning.

Dissociative Identity Disorder is characterized by (a) the presence of two or more distinct identities or personality states; (b) at least two of these identities or personality states recurrently take control of the person's behavior; (c) inability to recall important personal information that is too extensive to be explained by ordinary forgetfulness; (d) the disturbance is not due to effects of intoxication with alcohol or illicit drugs, or caused by medical disorders such as seizures.

Borderline Personalty Disorder is characterized by a pervasive pattern of instability of mood, interpersonal relationships, self image, and marked impulsivity.

I urge you to discuss your concerns further with your treating therapist. If you or your therapist are not comfortable working together, you may consider re-evaluation by another mental health professional.

[Barbara]

I hope the person who sexually abused and tortured you is dead! I despise those kind of people, they are a waste of life on earth!