Therapist/Client Relationships

I'm a 40 yr. old female. I have been in therapy for mild anxiety and depression for about a year.  My therapist is working with me on personal growth, as well as, trying to help me revive my 17 year marriage.  He has helped me a great deal so far.  I am much more confident and find that I am able to deal with my depression and anxiety without any medication.  I have quit smoking, lost excess weight, started meditation/relaxation techniques, and do yoga daily.  Soooo, here's my problem.  I have become extremely infatuated with my therapist.  I know that this is probably not such an uncommon occurence, however, I am not sure how to deal with it.  I love seeing him....I am sad when our visits are over.  Should I tell him?  Should I stop seeing him?  Will these feelings pass?

I feel like a child....please advise,
Kathleen

[HFHS M.D.-SW]

Dear Kathleen,

Congratulations on your progress!

Feelings of infatuation toward your therapist is as you mentioned not uncommon.

This is called transference, and is extensively studied in psychiatry and psychology.

A well trained therapist should be able to identify and work positively with the transferance, in a manner to avoid a dependent relationship.

I recommend you discuss your concerns with your therapist.

Best wishes, and continued progress.


HFHS M.D.-SW

[nancy]

I can relate to this infatuation. I was in therapy for three years and was discharged in September of 1998. I was told by my therapist to contact him in six months to tell him how i'm doing,unless I needed him earlier. Well, I tried to contact him seven months later. I couldn't wait to talk to him and hear his soothing voice once again. It turned out to be the worse day of my life. I was informed that he passed away suddenly four months earlier. I was never informed about this as a patient, and on top of this, my records of my past therapy was never found. It was like I never existed. I am devistated and lost without being able to call him for advice. My depression took two steps backwards. I can't bring myself to see someone else. The thought of starting all over again overwhelms me. I'm stuck in a limbo state.