WHAT IS IT?

[WISHING*]

I AM A 22 Y/O HISPANIC FEMALE. 5'2" ABOUT 120 LBS. AT 15 Y/O I HAD BEEN DOING CRYSTAL METH FOR ABOUT 5 MONTHS. THAT MORNING I HAD DONE SOME. I WENT TO GO & VISIT MY FRIEND AT THE HOSPITAL BECAUSE SHE HAD A COLLAPSED LUNG. TOWARDS THE END OF MY VISIT I REMEBER SITTING ON THE BED AND FEELING SOMETHING HEAVY ON MY THROAT. I COULDNT BREATHE. I FELT ALL STIFF. WELL I WENT TO THE ER AND THEY TOLD ME I HAD A PANIC ATTACK. GOT A SHOT OF TRANQUILIZER AND WENT HOME. FOR THE NEX COUPLE OF MONTH I REMEMBER THAT I STOPPED GOING OUT BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT MIGHT HAPPEN AGAIN & THIS TIME SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN TO ME. WELL I DONT KNOW HOW BUT IT WENT AWAY. FAST FORWARD TO AGE 21. I HAVE NEVER REALLY HAD A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH MY STEPFATHER EVENTHOUGH HES BEEN WITH US SINCE I WAS 2. HES REALLY VERBALLY ABUSIVE TOWARDS MY MOM. HE YELLS AT HER A WHOLE LOT AND THAT SEEMS TO GET TO ONLY ME. SO I MOVE OUT.

I MOVE IN WITH MY AUT AND UNCLE. ABOUT A YEAR LATER & HAD GOT FOOD POISONING FROM A RESTAURANT. I DID NOT KNOW WHAT I HAD. THE DOCOTR TOLD ME I HAD MY LIVER ENZYMES HIGH. HESAID HE WAS GOING TO RE TEST ME IN 3 MONTHS AND THAT IF THEY HAD NOT GONE DOWN, HE WAS GOING TO TEST ME FOR HEPATITIS. "WHAT" HEPATITIS, THAT ALL I HAD TO HEAR. I WAS CONSTANTLY THINKING ABOUT IT. I SWORE MY EYES WERE TURNING YELLOW. I KEPT ON COMPARING MY EYES TO OTHER PEOPLES. WELL TEST CAME BACK FINE, BUT EVER SINCE THEN I HAVE HAD THIS LIGHTHEADEDNESS. I DONT GET CONFUSED OR ANYTHING, I FEEL BETTER WHEN IM LAYING DOWN. IT SUCKS. I DONT HAVE INS. I GO TO A FREE CLINIC, BLOOD WORK IS FREE BUT I HAVE TO PAY FOR RADIOLOGY. WELL I TOUGHT I HAD A BRAIN TUMOR. CT OF THE BRAIN CAME BACK NEGATIVE. MY DOCTOR SAID IT WAS JUST ANXIETY. THEN SHE TOLD ME IT MIGHT BE MY BP. MINEIS USUALLY AT 100/60. IVE ALWAY HAD LOW BP THOUGHT I NEVER HAD THIS LIGHTHEADEDNESS FEELING. I GOT PUT ON PROZAC 10MG. STOPPED MY PANIC ATTACK BUT I STILL HAD THE LIGHTHEADEDNESS. I HAVE BEEN LIKE THIS FOR A YEAR ALREADY. I WENT TO AN ENT & HE SAID EVERYTHIGN LOOKED FINE. I DONT EXERCISE AND HE TOLD ME TO DO SO. I GET LIGHTHEADED WHEN  I EXERCISE,OR I THINK THAT THE EXERCISE IS GOING TO BRING ON THE LIGHTHEADEDNESS SO I JUST DONT DO IT. THEN I WAS ON WEB MD AND FOUND MS.WENT IN FOR AN MRI, NEGATIVE. THEN MY DOCTOR SAID I MIGHT HAVE AN ABNORMAL HEART RYTHM. EKG CAME BACK FINE.  YOURE HEALTHY. BUT IF IM HEALTHY WHY DO I FEEL LIGHTHEADED? A NORMAL PERSON DOES NOT WALK AROUND LIGHTHEADED! I FINALLY ACCEPTED IT WAS ANXIETY AND I FELT GOOD FOR ABOUT 2 WKS. THEN I WOKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WITH SOB AND MY HEART WAS BEATING A LITTLE FAST. EVER SINCE THEN THE LIGHTHEADEDNESS CAME BACK. IM CONSTANTLY CHECKING MY PULSE AND IT USUALLY 60. I WORK IN AN OFFICE SO IM USUALLY SITTING DOWN. IVE EVEN COUNTED IT AT 58. NOW IS IT TOO LOW? IM ALREADY THINKING IM GOING TO NEED A PACEMAKER..LOL WHEN IM UP AND MOVING AROUND IT AROUND 65-70. SHOUL I CONSIDER PAYING FOR A HOLTER MONITOR? I THINK I NEED TO GO BACK FOR COGNITIVE THERAPY. ;-)

[caregiver222]

You need a boot in the butt. A few years ago I remember doing CPR on a 28 year female who died from crystal meth. Life is very precious and it is a gift. She won't have any tomorrows. The top, of her head was sawed off for an autopsy with a v-cut on each side and she was eviscerated. Then they weighed her organs. She is rotting in a grave today. Just another day in an ER. Do you want this to be you? Visit a medical Examiner's office and ask them to let you watch to see your end if you don't straighten out. The person who introduced to to crystal meth deserves a fate I can't put into words on this board. You need to find faith in yourself and faith in the life force. You have been entrusted with a vessel for the most precious of human commodities - the human soul. You have value as a person and value as a life form. You have the work of the life-force to do. Go on "Google" and look of "Marcus Aurelius" and "Meditations". Read it. Good luck.

[fearfactor]

Hi, I am a lot like you.  I'm a young female and I have a lot of anxiety about my health.  It started out as being anxiety over heart problems, like is my pulse too low or high, is my heart skipping beats, etc.  It has gone from that to worrying over whether my blood pressure is too low (I have low BP too) and if I will collapse and die.  I now am having the dizziness/lightheadedness thing, too.  To make it worse, I am 7 months pregnant and can't figure out if it's just pregnancy symptoms or anxiety.  I have had a lifelong problem with anxiety and panic attacks.  I would go to therapy and get medication if I were you - therapy has really helped me though I'm not 100% better.  I hope you feel better soon and hang in there!

[WISHING*]

THANKS, I DO NEED TO CALM DOWN. WELL I WENT TO THE DOCTOR TODAY BECAUSE I HAD A PAP LAST WEEK AND HE TOLD ME THAT MY RED BLOOD COUNT IS 3.98. SLIGHTLY LOW. BUT MY HGB IS 12.7 IM TRYING NOT TO LOOK INTO IT. WELL LL JUST TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME.

[cyber_chic]

I would start writing a journal.  Try not to worry so much - I know it is hard not to obsess about stuff but that is what you are doing.  You should try to get some counseling.  Myabe prozac is not teh right drug for you.  I tried it and it made me lightheaded.

Good luck

[WISHING*]

OH YEAH, I HAVE HAD COUNSELING BUT I STOPPED GOING. I THINK IM GOING TO GO BACK AND REALLY MAKE AN EFFORT TO STOP THINKING SO NEGATIVELY.

[giddychic]

calm down---it kind of sounds as though you stress an worry about a lot of things----axiety does play a huge rolr  in that also some depression could be a result of all of this----take your symptoms one at a time and see where they lead you----look at the net for symptoms of axiety, depression, stress, etc.  Stress can do strange things to you that you do not even realize it is doing----I know first hand-----so take a deep breath, calm down and see a doctor and have your symptoms out and ready to get your answers!

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

I think you need to go back for cognitive therapy, your anxiety is really acting up. consider medication also for your anxiety.