Weird thoughts come to me, I think I am losing it?

Sometimes, after a stupid argument with members of my family, but I mean stupid, like "I didn't like the food my mom made, sort of thing", I go to my bedroom, and after some time I just want to cry, but I don't actually do it, then I start thinking about death, mine or others, but mainly my own. I feel that I hate "the others", and that  they hate me back. And all these thoughts come and go at the same time.

I am on charge of the family, I am the one who pays for everything, and I can't help it, but when I go to sleep, I think, and re-rethink about all the things going on in my house, bills, son's school, the fact that I hate having to live with my parents, I hate every single moment I am here, don't get me wrong, I'd be unfair if I said they are bad people, I just can't stand them, they irritate me so much, I get out of my bedroom when is absolutely necessary, like just to eat, the level of desperation when I am with them is growing bigger, and bigger everyday, I can feel it. I can't even stand the way they SPEAK! And they are my parents. I think something is wrong with me, and then these awful thoughts. I feel trapped all the time. I tried to commit suicide when I was 16, and when I am stressed-sad, as I can describe, those thoughts come back to me. What scares me the most is that they are more often.

J.C.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

You must get help, this is a very bad situation, and only some good counseling and or medication can help you with this crisis...get help very soon, and in the interim, lean on your good friends for support to help you get some more of your perspective back...