What Does This Sound Like and How Do I Deal?

I have been seeing my boyfriend for two and a half months and have been experiencing problems that I have not had before in previous relationships.  All of a sudden I have become paranoid and needy.  I want to hear from him on a daily basis.  When I don't receive a phone call, text message, or email, my suspicions flare up.  I have gone 24 hours without eating before and multiple nights in a row without steady sleep.  I also have a tendency to masturbate repeatedly throughout the day if: a) I have not heard from him, b) He is around but doesn't want sex and I suspect him of having a crush on someone else.  He took me on vacation (he paid for everything) and while there told a couple of stories about his co worker whom he mentioned is attractive so immediately I thought he had a crush on her but all I wanted to do was have sex with him.  He has keys to my apartment which he uses as his photography studio and when I came home one night when I knew he had been there, I saw some stuff moved around in the bathroom and in the shower and couldn't stop thinking that he had sex in the shower with his model.  I have a room mate who was more likely to be the person who moved the items but I couldn't shake the idea.  I don't have any real reason to believe that he would cheat on me except that my father cheated on my mother and she was always looking for ways to catch him.  I have had 3 relationships lasting longer than a year and this never happened!  I am convinced that I'm not enough for him because he is a member of a fetish website and although I am interested in these things, have no prior experience.  Before meeting him, I had very high self esteem but now I'm scared all the time that he is going to leave me.  Why is this happening and how do I make it stop?

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

there is no short answer to your question so you will probably have to sort out the layers of this with a therapist. It's something you should do for yourself, and something you should do before you sabotage this relationship with this behavior.  My guess, from what you have said, is that this man is more like the man you want to end up with than the others, and your fears of intimacy and abandonment are triggered by the intensity of your attachment to him, and this has always been latent in you, but now your defenses are down.  Its a great time to learn a lot in therapy, and put this vulnerability behind you.