What is wrong with me?

I am a 39 year old female, married with 3 children,I was diagnosed with hypothyroidsm and have been under treatment and it is controlled, my problem is that for some time now, I feel like I want to just pack up and leave, I feel this anxiety that I have to move far away, I feel sad, and just totally disgusted with my life, I gained so much weight even though I have finally managed to lose 25 pounds in the last 2 months, my self esteem and sad feelings continue, it feels like I have no feelings for anyone but my children, I hate my husband to just look at him brings back the feelings of getting away.. our relationship is not a good one, we have not been intimate for nearly a year,which is fine with me because sex does not interest me at all  I just feel like if he touches me I might as well be dead.. I have even gone to making up this fictional man,in my mind who loves me and I love him and he will come and take me away from all the madness and my life will be good again,I day dream of how it will be and how happy I will be to just get away.   I have felt like this before but it goes away, but now I have noticed that the sad feelings have come back stronger and I can cry at the blink of an eye for any given reason the  getting away feeling is so strong that it really freaks me out because I really want to get away, just move away to another city and start again.. is this a sign of depression? I know that my mom has had it and was on medication, and so was my sister, this feeling keeps getting stronger and stronger everyday and will not go away.. I find myself more and more in a fantasy world and wanting to stay there.. please tell me I am not going crazy even though sometimes I feel like I am..

[HFHS MD-JM]

Dee,

   It is clear that you are having partner relational issues and probable depression.  I suggest that you see a psychiatrist for a formal evaluation and possible treatment.  Medications and talk therapy could be helpful for you individually and perhaps marital therapy down the road if you decide to continue in the relationship.  Please review depression in this forums archives for further information.

Sincerely,

HFHS MD-JM

Keywords: depression, partner relational problem

[dave]

Sounds just like my experiences with depression/anxiety.  I have had depression for about 10 years, maybe more.  I have felt the same way.  My family also has a long history (about 3 generations) of depression.  My suggestion, now Im not a doctor, is to seek help through medication and or therapy.  Medication is not a cop out, usually people with problems like the one you are describing are caused by an imbalance in brain chemistry.  In my case, its a permanent problem, I have what they call biological depression.  Tried stopping medicine, but was unsuccesful. For some it can be treated effectively by medication an therapy, sometimes it will help you get through a bad time and later be medication free.  Some like myself may not be so lucky.  Either way, go see a doctor, and it doesn't always have to be a Psychiatrist.  My family doctor has been very helpful since medication was pretty much the solution.  This message board has been a great outlet for my concerns I have with depression, not to mention there are MD's involved in giveing educated response.  Check back once in a while, you may find some good feedback, I certainly have