Why my life *****

My mom passed away 4 years ago and i'm so depressed i see my family moving on and i fell so left behind. I hate my life sometimes. . . My dad and his wife make it worse for me to adjust to home and social life. Ever since my dad got married to his wife my life is more of hell everyday. . .She's so vindictive. . like she acts like a child like if i don't say hi to her she'll get mad and me and she won't buy me clothes or anything. My dad is pathetic too. He married her just for money, cause she's rich, they live in seperate houses and she only comes home to him on the weekends and that's just sad . When we went to chruch one sunday i was reading a book in the car and my dad said i couldn't do it and he slapped me for not listening to him. They threw away my clothes i only have like 1/5 of them now. They dont let me do anything or go anywhere. Just sometimes i just wanna die . All my siblings moved out so im all by myself. While they go out and have fun. . . Man i hate them i wish my parents were dead sometimes. . I think my life would be better. . .So i asked my cousin if i could move in with her cause i dont want to live with my dad. So she said as along as its good with ur dad so i asked my dad and i told him how miserable my life is and i guess he felt pity for me so he said maybe. When im with my cousin everything's fine. . like my mom's side of the family lives near her and ill have a female rolemodel to help me with my life problems. But if i don't live with her i might go crazy. Cause a 16 yr old girl can only take so much CRAP in her life. I mean i've been through hell and i just wanna get out I need advice please help me. . .

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

You sound like you already have the answer. Why don't you actively pursue the new living arrangement with your cousin, and get help making that happen from your mother's family or your older siblings, and if all else fails, ask your father to get you help with a psychotherapist.

[Jaquta]

Your step-mother may feel insecure.  She may not see how her actions are interpreted by you.
Although we like our parents to make good, healthy decisions, sometimes they don't.  Sometimes there are other dynamics to the relationship that we just don't see.

I use to wish my parents were dead too.  I don't expect it would have changed how I was feeling though.  Perhaps only made me feel worse.

I think that running away from the problem doesn't make it better.  You will likely find that many of your problems will travel with you to your cousins.

To me it sounds as though you feel alienated.  Your mother is dead, your siblings have moved away and you aren't connecting with your father and his wife.

I'm not the best person to offer advice.  Maybe accessing counselling (?through school) would be my best suggestion.  It sounds like you have some tough things to work through.

I hope others can give you more helpful suggestions.

Predominantly it is about how you are feeling though so keep that in mind.