Working up a Depression?

[Jules444]

I am a 20 year old female college student.  I know that being emotional at my age is typical but i have noticed my mind set spiraling out of control.  I used to be a happy person, but now I feel like i am just pretending to be happy.  My friends used to make me feel accepted, they used to give me a feeling of happiness, but now I don't feel like I can reach them anymore, even though they haven't changed.  It seems that they are all moving on and getting boyfriends and finding their happiness but I'm not, and when ever i search for an explanation I can't find it.  So I blame myself because I can't think of any other culprit.  I struggle with my weight, I have been over weight since I was a child and I blame my food problems for my lack of a love life.  I am usually either bingeing or I am eating very little, I can't find a balance there.  My sleep cycle is off balance but I don't think I am an insomniac.  I hate that I am resentful of my friends for being happy, I WANT them to be happy, and I hate myself for being bitter about it.  Sometimes when I get home from a party I can barely hold my tears back in the car and when I get home I cry for hours in my bed.  I'm not even sure why I'm crying, sometimes I think it's self pity, which makes me feel even more pathetic, and so I cry more.  I guess, what I'm saying is should I be seeking professional help or do I just have a case of the blues?
Sincerely,
Jules

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

It sounds like more than a case of the blues to me, and from my pov, a personal development issue.  Your envy of your friends is normal and a statement of where you want to be, but to get there you are going to have to do some work...weight problems is a place to start, but it's the psychological part that is important and your body image which is related to your self confidence, and all of that becomes an obstacle to having the love life you want.  Therapy is recommended, and if you want to help yourself faster with or without therapy I have two self help online programs that could get you going in the right direction...first go to www.myvirtualshrink.com.   then go to www.shrinkyourself.com.

[JG525]

Hi Jules: Don't feel bad.  We all go through changes in life and can feel left out at times.  I would highly recommend seeing a therapist.  There should be a counseling center on campus for free.  I get how you feel, but the food issues sound pretty serious, so maybe you can get some help for whatever is causing them.  We have to figure out how to validate ourselves and not rely on others for validation (I'm working on this too and I'm 30!).  When you do that, you'll meet someone and have a great relationship. :) Take care! Jenny