any suggestions?

I recently decided to look up different personality disorder tests. I was diagnosed w/depression about 10 years ago, was on meds for about 1 year, so for 9 years I have  been dealing w/it. I was in a bad relationship young & chose to wait a while before I became involved again w/anyone, after 5 years I met someone & here we are. I'm currently umemployed which may have something to do w/my downer mood, & live w/my boyfriend for about a year now, recently I have been upset a lot, he thinks very clearly before he speaks, if he said it he thought about it 3 times & meant what he said, he is a very smart guy & has lot of patience w/me, Our relationship is strong, & after an argument I realize I am wrong, or at times I realize what I am doing but I catch myself while it's happening but it's too late, I have already caused some damage in some way whether it be emotionally or whatever we try to keep our respect level high & I am not disrespectful towards him but I may say something that I wouldnt normally say, whatever normal is. when I was working it was different. I think I have borderline personality disorder, I match all the symptoms, someone said that I have that disorder where you think you have everything, I am constantly thinking about WHAT IS WRONG W/ME..maybe I'm just depressed again, I dont feel suicidal, sure my life seems pointless & if I died so what, no one would suffer, the point is, I have learned to cope w/my depression, but I think I have something more, w/all my mood swings, it's like I can be upset, 5 mins later I just want to get over it, in another 5 mins it starts over. I'm going crazy & I dont know what to do, I want to deal w/these issues so I stop losing people in my life, I have no close friends or family...just one of my sisters & I talk to her all the time, when I meet someone new, I just don't like want to get close so I distance myself...luckily my boyfriend is not the party type so he doesnt mind staying home & watching movies

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

the  only thing that help you sort this out is a series of counseling sessions with an experienced therapist...there is an answer,and it will be well worth your while to do this.