appearance

I am having a severe problem and I'm quite embarrassed by it as you shall see why. I am obsessed with the way I look. I feel the need to be perfect. According to my peers I am extremely attractive. People ask me if I model, that I should pose for Playboy etc. When I go out, I dress I believe sexually, but not not slutty. I see men discreetly rearranging their chairs in bars or wherever I go, so they can watch me. I am complimented almost daily about the way I look. I work out religiously. My boyfriend is very proud of my looks and is always telling me so. He thinks my body is equal to that of someone like Carmen Electra, he even thinks my face is more beautiful than hers. One would think I would be happy, but I'm not. I'm finding myself constantly comparing myself to other women. I have reached the depths of obsession. I recently asked my boyfriend how I stood on looks compared to the women of Miami Beach, he felt the upper 5%. He is trying to be understanding, empathetic and honest, but he is becoming concerned. I'm completely upset, because I am behaving with such immaturity. But I cannot control the panic I feel if someone might be better looking. My boyfriend loves me unconditionally, I have no fears of infidelity. I have gone through counselling in the past for anxiety, but this somewhat recent worry was never fully addressed. I'm too embarrassed to talk about it. I know there is more to a person than how they look, but I just can't seem to let go of that priority. I want to stop, but I don't know how. A small part of me thinks it has to be important to be "perfect".

[HFHS M.D.-SW]

Dear Gabriela,

From the information you mentioned you appear to be insecure about yourself, always needing reassurance which may not last.
Your obsessions may be part of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) or obsessive compulsive personality disorder (OCPD), without more information it would be difficlt to differentiate.
An obsession is a recurrent and intrusive thought, feeling, idea, or sensation. A compulsion is a conscious, standardized recurring pattern of behavior, such as counting, checking, or avoiding. Obsessions increase anxiety, whereas carrying out compulsions reduces it.
OCPD may present in a person who strives for perfection, having to redo reports or assignments because they aren't perfect enough. This maybe time consuming, interfering with functioning and not allowing the sufferer to relax or enjoy there time.
A therapist may help you understand why you have these insecurities,
perhaps by confronting your insecurities, he/she may also addrress your low sel-esteem and why you feel people view you so. Medications, such as Paxil, Zoloft or Luvox may reduce the severity of your symptoms.
In any case, treatment is available. Contact a psychiatrist or therapist in order to help aleviate the symptoms.
The information provided in this forum is presented for general educational purposes only. Specific questions you have pertaining to your health should always be directed to your personal physician or you may call Henry Ford Behavioral Health at [phone].

Sincerely,

HFHS M.D.-SW

*Keywords: obsessive compulsive disorder, obsessive compulsive personality disorder

[gabriela]

Thank You for your reply..