feeling "not real" or spacey

[concerned mom1212]

My 21 yr old daughter is a worrier--she always has been.  I know she has anxiety problems. She obsesses over troubles and I believe she  also has ocd as well as Social anxiety disorder. She is always uptight, somewhat nervous all the time and has no interpersonal relationships of any depth outside the family. I believe she suffers from mild depression and I know she has ADD this was diagnosed long ago.  Recently she started asking me if she would be all right? When I inquired as to what she was talking about she says she feels "not real".  Pressing further I get the impression she is feeling somewhat spacey. I think this started around the same time she had symptoms of a sinus infection (she has numerous allergies and often sinus problems) and refused to go to the dr. and the infection progressed until she was sick to her stomach and extremely tired--probably close to 2 months. Finally I got her to the dr. and she has been treated for that, however the feeling "not real" and the stomach ache persists. I don't know if something is still wrong or if these symptoms are being brought on by anxiety as she claims to have had panic attacks now and again when the "not real" feeling sweeps over her from time to time.  She doesn't like to go to the dr. and getting her there is a difficult procsss. Do you think further information/testing regarding her symptoms is needed or do you think her constant worrying is bringing on one or both the symptoms (the "not real" and the stomach ache)

[Higher Planes]

Hello concerned mom1212,

Believe it or not. Everything that you describe about your daughter, I have been experiencing since my teenage years, I am now 32 and still do not know what I have. On top of feeling "not real" and having sinus problems, I also get very nervous around people outside my immediate family. Maybe social phobia? I also experience slight speech problems when I'm in social settings, sometimes it's impossible to get a word out because I totally lose focus.

I've been to several shrinks. Each shrink gave me a different diagnosis, one said I have ADD, the other said borderline personality disorder (BPD, and yet another said I have mild depression. I rarely get depressed however, and when I do it's very mild. I have read so much material on ADD that I am almost certain I don't have that. I read loads of books on BPD, and I found that I experienced nearly every symptom described.

I can't tell you for sure that I was diagnosed correctly, I never got a second opinion. But I know what I read in those books. The most painful thing about living with BPD for me is not having a social life. It's extremely difficult for me to "let people in." I go to work from 9 to 5, Monday thru Friday, and that's where my life with the outside world ends. At 32, it seems that this is my destiny, and I think I've accepted it. No one seems to be able to help. I have stopped medicating myself because If loneliness doesn't kill me the meds will.

Please have your daughter checked out by a professional. I'm not saying she has BPD, but when you said she described herself as feeling not real, it struck a chord. The shrink that diagnosed me with BPD, the first question he asked me when I stepped into his office is, "What do you feel?" my response was, "Not real"

I wish you the best of luck with your daughter
-Dorian

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

The not real feeling can be a very important sign of something more serious that requires psychiatric attention.  It could also be nothing at all,but I think it is worth a consultation with a qualified psychiatrist who can also prescribe medications for the various anxieties you describe.  This should be handled by a specialist, not a general physician.

[Charla Kay]

I have this feeling like everyday. I feel really foggy headed. Like I'm asleep but I'm actually awake. I really think that I have these feelings in my head from the Effexor I used to take 4 or 5 months ago. I posted a question on the undiagnosed symptoms that the title is EFFEXOR WITHDRAWEL SYMPTOMS. Feel free to read it if you like.