getting over a bad relationship

Hi,

My boyfriend of 18 months has recently been a little off.
I have since discovered that he had been chatting with the ex prior to me.

The thing is that he was so in love with her but, she was so wrong for him.  He believes she may be a sociopath.  She had several men on the go at once, she lied to him and was not very trusting.  He had to end it ( reluctently) after being with her a little over a year.  He has been so honest with me and I knew something was bothering him so I asked and he told.

He is on aniexty meds since their breakup.  He cant stop thinking of her and he knows shes bad news but he can't seem to get past that.  He say's he loves me and knows that he made the right decission to stay with me.

What can I do to move forward and what can he do to put her back in the past.

I need to trust him again and I know he only chatted with her a few times but, he's been nothing but honest throughout our relationship and sometimes a bit too honest....

HELP

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

I think the very best thing you can do is to continue to have honest conversations, and during those conversations help him deal with the contradictions so he recognizes that he is stuck in an obsession.   When that happens, its time for him to see a therapist and resolve it there. Keep your perspective.

[bdoon]

Yea tg sounds like an obsession...it is almost like something not part of you has got ahold of you. It is a terrible feeling and I thinks only time can really make the difference. It is like the mind is some kind of animal that keeps running back to the waterhole to drink knowing full well that the water is poison. I have a bit of an obsession going now about my physician, a young single female in her late 30s....luckily I have never been to bed with her or it would be a lot worse.

All you can do I think is be there and make sure he does what the Doctor says. My obsession about women in the past just raises its wings and flys away...it is that quick.

[thistlegirl66]

Yes it truly does sound more of an obsession.  He can't get her out of his mind and it's really affecting our relationship.  He knows with me it's safe, secure, honest and stable and it would be a mistake if he threw it all away.
However, now in the back of my mind is OMG I guess i was second choice if she would take him back.  Now I need to work on moving forward or as much as it hurts do I move on alone with my kids????

I don't want to drive myself crazy thinking or being suspicious.

thanks