hydraulic depression

66yo woman with severe PTSD. also postpolio syndrome (muscle pain, weakness, atrophy, fatigue, in wheelchair). have 'anniversary' depression in summer, this summer worse with plans of suicide. for the first time, told docs/counselor/friends and circled the wagons instead of going into hospital (play skool for me, would have been my 11th admission). recently depression has improved but muscle pain and IBS got much worse and constant. have noticed this in the past, when pain of ptsd too intense, get spate of migraine or something else.
just want to know if i am imagining this or could it be valid? anniversary season almost over.

wannadance

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

There is no question that what you describe, an intensification of dysphoria on anniversary of trauma, is a very real and powerful phenomenon. It should actually get better just by recognizing it for what it is, and letting it " pass through" as a memory, rather than confusing it with a new ailment.

[wannadance]

thank you so much. i guess i thought the hydraulic phenomenon was my body's way of keeping me from getting overwhelmed; switch off depression for pain, then pain for diarrhea, etc. i know the memories far too well but sometimes it's all pretty unbearable, you know?

but i will think on 'passing through'.
and i thank you.