Depression/Mental Health Expert Forum
masterbating, how do i stop
About This Forum:

This forum is for questions and support pertaining to mental health issues such as: Anger, Dementia, Depression, Family Problems, Memory Problems, Personality Disorders, Phobias, Schizophrenia, Transitions and Work Problems.

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
This expert forum is not accepting new questions. Please post your question in one of our medical support communities.
Blank Blank

masterbating, how do i stop

I can't stop masterbating (masturbating). I've been doing it since i was 15 and am in my mid twenties now. Thats almost 10 years now i've been trying in vain to quit. I ve stopped for short period, about a month, but i always do it again even when i had a girlfreind. Its like i cant get enough. People say that materbating is healthy, well in my case that doesnt hold true. It causes sooo many problems. After i first started masterbating (masturbating), when i was 15 i noticed an odor about me. I thougt it was just me till people started to tell me i stink. I also am very shaky and often have muscle spasms. Sometimes my head will jerk one way or another with out my control. If i drink water my mouth will constantly produce saliva. when i wake up in the morning my stomach hurts and i feel nauseous. If i drink too many liquids i will have headaches. It also becomes harder for me to breathe through my nose. And i cant smell things as well. I also get really sleepy and my muscles become weaker. I cant do as many situps or pushups. My face becomes very oily and i sweat alot more. I also am very forgetful. My mind becomes slower. There is also a cloudy substance in my urine. My palms  are also sweaty

During the times i stopped all these symtoms (symptoms) went away, but returned once i started back. This has been the case every time. When i say masterbate i mean i actually ejaculate every time. The symtoms (symptoms) havent been as bad when i didnt ejaculate.

Since i have a bad odor only a few people will be around me. Theres also been a few brave people who told me i need to stop. This i know but i just cant. It interferes with school and my social life. I have no freinds and just want to stay in my room so people can breathe fresh air. Wen i go to a basketball game some people actually say i stink and leave. I just want to be normaly. I even treid using acohol and weed to stop but nothing works. I also tried sleeping in pants. I dont want to drink and i certainly hate smoking. I want to be able to go out to eat and drink water with no fear of stinking. Girls tell me i look good but they dont want to be around me because of my odor. I love women but cant have them. I havent slept with a woman since june 2001. THATS SAD!!

THIS IS NOT A JOKE! I hate myself and sometimes get depressed. It is very hard being like this. can u please tell me how to stop this. Do i have a weak mind since i cant stop.
Related Discussions
242532_tn?1269553979
I don't have an easy answer for you and I know it is a serious problem.  I think you should see a psychiatrist for a complete evaluation, and also talk to your internist about the smell issue. The whole smell issue may be a result of the anxiety or guilt that is generated by the masturbation.  Masturbation itself is not the whole problem, but your guilt about it is probably at the source of your problem.  See a therapist.
62 Comments
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Hey GottaStop,

Stopping isn't easy, but it's possible.  Here's a few tips.

First you gotta understand that overall ... it is a selfish act.  You only benefit yourself and nobody else by masterbating (masturbating).  Sex is meant for 2 people not one.  That is the natural way of life.  Whenever you masterbate, your only having sex by yourself.

Secondly, do you ever masterbate w/out fantasizing?  Usually masterbation (masturbation) accompanies fantasizing.  They both compliment each other and make the experience more joyful.  I would say fantasizing precedes masterbation (masturbation).  Guys usually get in the mood by fantasizing about a hot lady.  Once the fantasizing arouses the guy, the guy usually wants more pleasure and options to masterbates to create an orgasm for him.  

I rarely seen a situation where a person does not fantasize while masterbating (masturbating).  

That my friend is the answer to your question.  If somehow you can stop fantasizing about hot models/actress/ladies, you will be less aroused.  And if you aren't aroused ... why should you masterbate?

This might sound like a cruel joke, but the secret to not masterbating (masturbating) is not thinking of women in that kind of way.  

And w/ your case if it does help you stop and be able to get a lady.  The result of everything will be.

"By stop thinking of ladies, you have gotten yourself a lady."

Ironic, and cruel, but sadly true.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
i am in the same boat. i am happily married and masturbat all the time also..been for years..i think my wife can notice when i do because i cant hold an errection as long and when i *** its not alot of semen. i feel horrible after i do this
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I think that if you were to go without masterbation (masturbation) for a long time, that your overall health and sex drive will increase, meaning that your erections will improve, then when you use to masterbate regularly. It's like with an alcoholic, when he stops drinking for awhile he can think clearer.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Hi 'gottastop' there is an answer.
In the book science of breath available free at (copy and paste the following link:

http://www.arfalfa.com/ScienceOfBreath/ScienceBreath.htm

Near the end of theis book there is a breathing exersise to raise the energy from the sexual centers to the higher centers within the body. I have used this exersise and I can confirm that interest in sex dropped dramatically with repeated use.

I would also agree with 'DontKnowMuch' that the fantasizing comes first the lusting comes second. I have come to believe that lusting is never satisfied by masterbation (masturbation). The lusting remains regardless of how many times you 'polish the pole.'
  
Another side to this dilema is that your body is producing sperm at a fanyastic rate and NEEDS to get rid of it. Have you ever heared of 'blue balls'? it is the aching of the testicals in need of sperm relese. It can be painfull as you are probably aware.

Your idea of 'gottastop' is simply one of 'gottacontrol' and you need to WANT to, not feel you HAVE to. As with all things forced there will be a backlash that will tie you to the very thing you are trying to free yourself from if you are forced into it. So how about changing the idea again to 'wannacontrol' ?  The definition is important as YOUR dsire to WANT to control your masterbation (masturbation) will be in direct proportion to the success you achieve. Do you realy want to stop masterbating (masturbating)? Think about it seriously. You would suffer from 'blue balls' not to mention 'glue sheets' I think the answer is down to what you truly desire. If you wish to cut down on your bodies activity/interest in sex use the breathing exersise. Add to this the detached observation of any sexual thoughts allowing them to pass from you mind/atention without interest and you've got it cracked. Should blue balls occur and you feel that you owe it to your body to do the decent thing clear your mind of fantasy and concentrate on sensation alone. This is a real feel good trip that will definatly guarentee satisfaction as opposed to the never ending cycle of lusting which I think is your real problem.

I would be happy to hear any comments,
***@****

Blank
Avatar_n_tn
HELLO SIR,
I AM 24 YEARS OLD. I HAVE BEEN MASTERBATIG FOR THE PAST 6 YEARS. I STAMMER A LOT. BUT FROM THE PAST 3 YEARS WHENEVER I MASTERBATE I STAMMER A LOT. ALSO EVERY TIME AFTER I MASTERBATE MY BREATHING BECOMES IMPROPER THAT IS WHAT I FEEL. BECAUSE OF WHICH I AM NOT ABLE TO SPEAK PROPERLY. AS A RESULT OF THIS I HAVE LOST LOT OF OPPORTUNITIES IN MY CARREER, ESPECIALLY IN MY INTERVIEW, BECAUSE I STAMMERED A LOT IN THE INTERVIEW. SIR ASLO EVEN WHEN I DONOT MASTERBATE DURING NIGHT THAT IS AFTER 8 PM I AM NOT ABLE TO SPEAK PROPERLYI.E I STAMMER. CURRENTLY I AM WORKING IN A BPO WHERE I HAVE TO WORK ONLY DURING NIGHT SHIFT. AS A RESULT I AM NOT ABLE TO SAY MY IDIEAS IN THE OFFICE ENVIRONMENT. I WAS PREVIOUSLY GOING TO A CLASS TO CURE MY STAMMERRING. BUT DUE TO THE WORK PRESSURE I AM NOT ABLE TO ATTEND THE CLASSES. SIR PLEASE INFORM HOW DO I STOP MASTERBATION (masturbation) SO THAT I CAN SPEAK WELL AND LEAD A NORMAL LIFE AS EVERYONE, AND ACHIEVE MY GOALS.
I FEEL WILL GET REPLY TO THESE QUESTIONS, PLEASE IT IS A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH.
THANK YOU
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I too have been masturbating for many years and I think it eventually becomes habitual rather than necesary.  It's like a smoker trying to quit.  You know you shouldn't but do anyway.  I seem to make it part of a daily routine and start even if not aroused or having "thoughts".  I do attempt to control it but the body needs sexual release so after I hold back for awhile, I then need to and start the whole process over again.  Personally I think it ***** and wish it would cahnage.  Good luck, there are worse things we could do.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I have tried stopped because I have premature ejeculation, I don't know if stopping will help me. I found it very difficult to stop even for a short period of time, like a week.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
can someone help me out ? !!!

Iam suffering from:

1)constant headaches.

2)heavy muscles and spasms,pain....head,neck,shoulders and other...

3)dizziness.

4)need to sleep all the time doesnt matter how much i sleep i always feel sleepy and tired.

5)changes in my personality, my friends are getting strange thoughts about me thinking iam crazy or weird or etc...

6)lack of concentration....i was thought to have ADD/ADHD...
Iam sure its not my problem cause I did TOVA test...

7)poor/short-term memory

8)depression with no reason.

9)stress causes tremor to hands,arms,head....
the tremor excessively increases when i do physical exercises.
for example when i used to work out at the gym many of my friends noticed the tremor....!
many people notice iam the kind of a very nervous guy...!
when iam in stress, most of my time i dont set, I walk and walk fast and sometimes walking and eating nervously,confused, I think too much and analyze things...Iam a kind of a thinker....
sometimes after stress I feel I need to run...so I start running like for 30 minutes or more and after i finish I feel the tremor almost gone but after few minutes it comes back....!
afterall the tremor isnt really affecting my life.....
but I think my tired muscles increased the tremor.....

10)Iam hyperactive...when Iam in extacy I feel extreme hyperactivity and can imagine and analyze things just like einstein, although I believe lack of concentration and muscular pain causes me somekind of stupidity...

11)I have TMJ pain...when I eat I feel joint pain,earaching...
but the problem isnt only the TMJ my whole body muscles are tired...Iam maybe a bruxer....I was checked by a dentist and
Iam using nightguard and its not relieving the pain....

Iam 18 years old.
I was checked by many doctors for many health problems...
CT scan was done,sinuses and brain all ok...
blood test was done,i had no problems...
no problems in the eyes...i was checked by a neurologist...
I used to set for many many hours on my computer few years ago...

-I started masterbating (masturbating) when I was 12 years old.
-Iam very addicted to masterbation (masturbation) and sex.
-everytime I masterbate I ejaculate.
-I masterbate everyday but Iam trying to stop these days...
still Iam obsessed to masterbation (masturbation)...

when I used to be 13 or 14 years old I remember everyday I used to masterbate 3 or 4 times as an average...
I remember few days I used to masterbate like 6 times and
sometimes more...few days I reached 10 times...and then I got addicted to it...
I had sex many times with diffirent teens....
although I dont have pleasure with real sex...masterbating (masturbating)
gives me much more pleasure....and everytime i had sex I didnt
ejaculate..only one time when I had sex for 30 minutes until I ejaculated...but when I masterbate I ejaculate in few minutes...
when I ejaculate more than one or two times a day the semen seems to be in small amount and like water...
ejaculation increases my  fatigue,headache,dizziness,sleepiness.....

I need a solution.

my life is ruined...I cant even do daily activities...I cant study at home I cant learn at school...headaches all the time...
I stopped excercising because of tired painful muscles...
the headache thing isnt something new to me...I believe the headaches began since I started masterbating (masturbating) many times...Iam talking about when I was 14 years old...and it evolved into something worse...and much more painful...
until this year I noticed something isnt right...
I used to think that the headaches were something natural I always ignored it...and always thought that the cause of it was lack of sleeping...
some days I sleep 6 or 7 hours and other days I sleep like 8,9 or 12 hours....I rarely sleep less than 6 hours...
but what I realized that when ever I ejaculate more and more
I feel need to sleep more hours...



I really need some help !!!!





Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I had someone help but this is how I stopped masturbating and looking at porn.

I kept a journal of all the times a day I wished to masturbate or look at porn. I would write down a brief description of the desire and the action taken to try to ignore/resist it. Being that I believe the Word of God, my actions taken to ignore/resist were usually reading the bible or praying (I did not pray that the temptation would be taken away, I prayed that I would be strong enough to overcome it).

At the end of each day I would show the journal to the other person and briefly talk about what I logged in the journal and evaluate my actions.

On days I messed up, we would talk about why and what else could have been done.

After 40 days or so I was pleased to say that I no longer masturbated and neither did I look at porn.

Over the years since upkeep has been necessary, but the difference in my life is great. I had never felt so confident and I also noticed improvements in many areas of my life that were unexpected.

Was it worth it? Without a doubt, YES!!!!
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Perhaps this might help -

http://www.flirt4free.com
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Is it true that if you stop masterbation (masturbation) for a very long time that your sex drive (libido) and sexual health will increase alot? please reply.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Dear naxx99
From what i see in your symptoms...it sure sounds to me like you have a mood disorder...i don't know if anyone has said this to you before...but i know from those signs that you should be evaluated by a psychiatrist...i am pretty sure cause my boyfriend and i both have experienced almost all of those symptoms and we both have a mood disorder...so just kindly asking that you consider what i said because i seriously don't think it has anything to do with your masturbating...also having headaches after orgasm is not uncommon and sometimes is a real problem for some people...

Racing Crab
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Dear gottastop
To me it sounds like it a psychosomatic problem...meaning because of the tremendous guilt you feel over masturbating that it would sound like a psychological problem dealing with your stammering...your body is reacting to the a repressed obsession which in your case is the guilt over your frequent self pleasure...some people think it might be a sexual addiction but in order for it to be an addiction it would have to be disruptive with your relationships, your work or your responsibilities or is a health risk...as soon as you deal with the guilt and i think the problem should subside and that doesn't mean you have to stop masturbating...like some people may seem to be saying...we have been told in our childhood if our parents caught us playing with ourselves that it was bad and a sin...but we have learned in this day and age with sexual research that it is a normal healthy pleasure and it exercises the physical body...why should we feel shame for something that is natural gift to the human race...cultures and society play a major part in our views on sex and pleasure and we still have alot to learn

Racing Crab
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I have been masterbating (masturbating) for a year and a half now and am stopping due to the effects it can have. I did it to releive myself from stress and when i was in a depress mood. i have been wanting to stop for a couple a months now but found it very hard to do. i am determine to stop because i do not want to have anymore problems later on in my life. my question to anyone who may know the answer is can one recover fully to there normal state of being once you have stopped for a very long time or will i have to take something to help me recover fully. please reply if someone knows it will greatly be appreciated. thanks.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Dear Racing Crab

what do u mean by mood disorder ???

anxiety,stress,depression ???
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Dear Racing Crab

what do u mean by mood disorder ???

anxiety,stress,depression ???
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I started masterbating (masturbating) four years ago. I CANT STOP, I DO IT ALMOST EVERYDAY. I DO IT SOMETIMES EVEN WHEN I M NOT AROUSED.

When I first began doing it, I would masterbate everyday, sometimes twice a day or more. Then after two years i do it about once every two day. And in my third year I do it about once in every two-three days, but now i started doing it everyday again.

I would go online and watch porn and masterbate. Then after I've done it, I would regret it. But I CANT STOP IT. The longest i ever stopped masterbating (masturbating) is 3 weeks.....

I started when i was 12 years old. Now i m 16 going on 17.  
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I started masterbating (masturbating) four years ago. I CANT STOP, I DO IT ALMOST EVERYDAY. I DO IT SOMETIMES EVEN WHEN I M NOT AROUSED.

When I first began doing it, I would masterbate everyday, sometimes twice a day or more. Then after two years i do it about once every two day. And in my third year I do it about once in every two-three days, but now i started doing it everyday again.

I would go online and watch porn and masterbate. Then after I've done it, I would regret it. But I CANT STOP IT. The longest i ever stopped masterbating (masturbating) is 3 weeks.....

I started when i was 12 years old. Now i m 16 going on 17.  
I WANT TO MASTERBATE RIGHT NOW.... I THINK BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS I WOULD  HAD DONE IT LIKE 3 times or probably even 9 times.

I WANT TO KNOW WHY I STARTED DOING IT AGAIN
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I started masterbating (masturbating) four years ago. I CANT STOP, I DO IT ALMOST EVERYDAY. I DO IT SOMETIMES EVEN WHEN I M NOT AROUSED.

When I first began doing it, I would masterbate everyday, sometimes twice a day or more. Then after two years i do it about once every two day. And in my third year I do it about once in every two-three days, but now i started doing it everyday again.

I would go online and watch porn and masterbate. Then after I've done it, I would regret it. But I CANT STOP IT. The longest i ever stopped masterbating (masturbating) is 3 weeks.....

I started when i was 12 years old. Now i m 16 going on 17.  
I WANT TO MASTERBATE RIGHT NOW.... I THINK BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS I WOULD  HAD DONE IT LIKE 3 times or probably even 9 times.

I WANT TO KNOW WHY I STARTED DOING IT AGAIN
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
First of all, I'd like to thank everyone for the support for others that I have seen here. You recognize that this is a real problem, and needs to be corrected.
Secondly, I too, unfortunately suffer from masterbation (masturbation). I have tried different ways, all unsuccessful. I have only been able to stay away from it for about a month, sometimes not even a week.
This is something that is very hard for me to admit to, even though I have never met any of you, however the guilt and shame needs to end. I am going to try the breathing excersise with hopes, but am not sure on the result. I also have tried praying, but my problem becomes very serious.
You see, I actually don't fantasize and then start, infact I don't fantasize at all. I'll be on the internet just talking to friends or whatever, then out of no where a thought pops in my mind. Just the word "Chick" or "Young" or anything associated with a female will pop into my mind, and then I can literally feel the hormones pumping down my neck. Soon after this I am not myself anymore. It seriously feels like the devil himself takes over and does whatever, download this and look at that, I've tried fighting it, but am afraid that my will power may be not enough. This "posession" continues until I hit my high point (the can't turn back now point) and when I'm finished there's this overwhelming feeling of shame, sadness, and I just feel like I've let so many people down, including God.
I too, suffer from a lot of side effects. I didn't link them to it until reading this site. I get headaches that seem to almost impair my head, my memory seems to be almost nothing, my wife can say something to me and I wont even recall the conversation. My nose is now stuffed up on and off through the day with no explanation (until now), and there's others. I feel horrible and I also think my wife may think something is up because of the irratableness, but I think she just thinks it stress.
I have also smelt the odor, I don't reek of it, but the stench of shame rises to me after I finish, and through-out the day/night.

I think first we need to stick together with it, after all, there are strength in numbers, and with something so strong...I think we need it.
Also, any other suggestions on how to restrain/stop? I know the only way is cold turkey, but any suggestions on how to stay away from it and still resume a normal life?

Thanks...
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Sorry if I am repeating something someone may have already said.

I am married myself,  to the hottest woman you could ever imagine:), yet I still masturbate at least once a day.  I can even masturbate and have sex in the same day.  

The odor you mention, I have that, but I can only smell it if I pull back the skin on my penis.  My best assumption is since I am NOT circumsized it seems to keep the smell in check, since it's like a barrier that stops the smell, oh yes this VERY strong smell remains but it can only be smelled if I were to peel my foreskin back, other wise it can't be smelled.

Perhaps that's why we were born with a foreskin.....It protects the penis and many other things, people who are circumsized also lose MAJOR sensativity after awhile, since without the foreskin to keep the head of the penis moisturized, the sensativity in the head of the penis falls dramatically always being exposed to air that dries the head of your penis out, which isn't natural:)  Circumsizions are only used for religious reasons.  It saddens me so many people have this done when they are born and get no choice in it.  It's has also been proven that removal of the foreskin later in life is MUCH MUCH MUCH more effective.  Woo went rambling there.

Also, several ways to decrease your libido.  First, I recommed Paxil, let me tell you, on Paxil for me...The time released anyway, it dropped my sex drive at least 80%.  Muscle relaxers can help, since it makes it harder to keep an erection hard and long enough to be pleasurable.  Narcotics may not reduce your sex drive as much, but they will numb you so much that you'll have to masturbate about 10 times longer to ejaculate, which causes chafing sometimes, again this makes you feel like you don't need to.

Personally, I don't fantasize when masturbating.  I must always be watching some kind of porn to masturbate, sure I can masturbate without it, but it doesn't seem worth it:)  I still enjoy sex with my wife as well.

There is another method (illegal), but it's only an end result of withdrawl (withdrawal) from chronic marijuana smoking.  Seems like a bad approach though since you'd have to do it a lot for a long time, and while on it you'd probably have massive sexual desires.  I can tell you this though from experience, Chronic marijuana withdrawl (withdrawal) will destroy any sex drive...along with appetite.  The affects do go away and you would feel horny again, but maybe in that time period where the thought of sex makes you nauseas may be enough to keep you off of it long enough to break the addiction.  THis is illegal and not recommended, I just thought I would share on what I have learned involving masturbation and this drug:)

Masturbation is healthy even if done once every day.  Beware though, you will probably find it very hard to get an erection or enjoy yourself during sex with another woman.  I can tell you from experience sometimes masturbating feels much better than the real deal, which can become habit forming.

I find that if I make myself come to orgasm very quickly it is not NEARLY as enjoyable, and this may help ween you off as well. I consider sex and masturabation to not be far from one another in pleasure.  Before I met my wife I could easilly live without sex, since I enjoyed masturbation so much, although I was interested in real sex:)  Hell sometimes I enjoy masturbation more than actual sex, but only sometimes:)

My wife developed the smell you speak of, little did we know it was caused by bacteria, hell she had it her whole life and had no idea.  She was prescribed "Flagellin" Not sure if that's spelled right:)  It instantly cleared it up in just 2 pills, and it hasn't come back since.  Smells are usually associated with bacteria so the drug I mentioned above my help.  Not sure if it's for women only.

Shaving your gentialia area will reduce smell as well, as the pubic hair for some reason has a very strong odor.

Another idea, IF you have the mental capacity to hold your ejactulation for a very long time while the penis is still being stimulated, eventually you'll begin to go limp and your penis will start to ache, and if you do it long enough the thought of continuing with the masterbation (masturbation) makes you feel ill.  Mostly due to holding the ejaculation in many many times preventing yourself from it, the pleasure is gone, and you don't want to continue with it.

Please note I am not a DR.  These are just the experiences I have had with this type of topic, hope I was of any help:)
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
It has been 2 days since my post and my last time. I have felt the urge but was able to fight it. I found that (when you can rembember to use it) the breathing excerise, oddly enough, works out ok. I think it's because it's keeping your mind off of it, I'm not quite sure, but I think it is worth a try.
If anyone else has any suggestions, please post, we are in need.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Didn't see the comment, sorry. I hate to say but I see your suggestions a bit, well, morbid. I'd like to ween off of this and still be able to have kids, some of us are married you know. Anyway, the problem I see with pills is the fact that 1) you need to take them, which isn't so bad, as long as you feel you have a problem that can't be controlled by you. 2) once you go off the pills, eventually the drive will come back, it's like a diet, as soon as you're off of it, your old habits will come back, and personally, I don't want to stay on pills or drugs the rest of my life.
However, the most effective thing I've actually found so far was this breathing excersise you can do. You can find it at http://www.arfalfa.com/ScienceOfBreath/ScienceBreath.htm. There is a specific chapter for it, and when the urge comes, try to remember to do this, and it helps...a lot.

Also Dokar, your comment to your religous comment. I'd actually hate to have what you have. I'd hate the fact that a smell is just building and building underneath the forskin of my penis and when it is pulled back, it is released...I'd feel horrible and sick to my stomach if my wife were to do that and smelt that. Another thing, I'm not sure about you, but I don't have my penis out that long in order to get 'dry' on my head. The sensitivity my be low, but there are also a lot of down sides to having that foreskin, many in which include, bacteria, infection, and just many problems/complications that can occur by having it. It also can keep too much moisture down there, and then it's just like a petre dish.

Anyway, done with the ranting, and still holding strong, I can feel it, but just going to turn away and go to bed.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Lol as far as the pills, the odor pills it's not a life long pill, it kills the bacteria causing the odor, this should fix the odor.

As far as foreskins, every DR I have talked to says the same thing, along with dozens of research etc.  First off it's VERY hard for bacteria to penetrate the foreskin.  Also the moisture has natural defenses against basteria, etc.  It protects the VITAL part of the penis, I mean why do you think we have it?

I can understand why you disagree, you're circumsized, and you can never change that.  People who have certain "things" that cannot be changed, tend to argue that it's better they did, mainly because if they didn't the horror they would feel that there is no way they will ever have as much pleasure, etc because of something that's irreversable.  I'd probably agree with you if I had been curcumzised myself:)

Look up the research though, less infections, bacteria, better protection, etc.  Why do you think we evolved with a foreskin?
WHy did we evolve with legs????  Because they help us.  Removal of the foreskin is a religious practice only, as any DR. will tell you, and is not recommended.  The skin does dozens of things that people without it can't obtain the benefits.  Oh and every woman I have slept with even said it felt A WHOLE lot better than circumsized:)  WHY???  Well duh, we evolved that way, of course it evolved to server many purposes, INCLUDING better stimulation for the vagina.  The foreskin is NOT removed for ANY medical reason what-so-ever.  Despite the rumors of it being infected easilly etc are old wives tales, current research proves it.  Besides you don't need to be a Dr. to realize we are born this way for a reason we evolved over eons.

Would be like a religious practice to remove an entire leg, cause it makes them look more like a cross with only 1 leg, lol.  Personally though, I'll KEEP what my ancesators spent millions of years to evolve parts of my body to serve GOOD functions.  I mean what part of your body would you remove if you thought it was useless?  Lol

As far as sensation down there.  Depends on age.  An uncircumzised penis gives about 10-20 times more pleasure than a circumsized, and this is from birth to right after adolscence, however the older one gets the more and more desensatized it becomes, making sex pretty horrible since you can't feel much, by the time a male is 40-50 almost all sensation is lost, this is another reason older people need and use viagra.  Study showed that 92% of people uncircumsized never had problems with getting an erection, pleasure, etc, and that's theire entire life, hell even at age 70:)  Only 3% of people with a circumsized penis didn't have a problem getting it up, in the 40-50 age group.

Hell even when wearing clothes you're penis is wide open for air particles, clothes particles, and many other things that come in direct contact with the head and even INSIDE the penis.  I don't have that problem because of my natural evolutionary forceshield that keeps everything out of the important part of the penis.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
That's fine about your 'odor killing pills', however, that doesn't mean that our odor is necessarily caused from bacteria infections, or that at all. The fact of the matter is that semen has an odor to it. I guess you can think of it as a smoker, in a sense. They smoke and smoke, and there isn't much smell, until they work out, then the stench comes out of their pores along with the sweat. I'm not saying that every guy works up a sweat in doing so, but they are working that area out, and when you masterbate, especially frequently, this can happen, so it's not really something that pills can just 'clear up'.

And as for your foreskin. You are true about it being a sheild. However, when bacteria gets inbetween the foreskin and the penis, it is perfect conditions for it to multiply, and when you add semen or other fluids, this makes matters worse, and again more smell. And not necessarily from bacteria, either. It's like a perfum bottle, when you first open it to smell it, the smell is strong because it is so consentrated.

I hate to break it to you, but I'm not arguing just because I have a circumsized penis, that's just stupid. My parents decided to have it done to me when I was born, and I see nothing wrong with it. Granted it wasn't my decision, but the just further backs me up. Why would I be so pissed and disturbed over something I have no control over?

And as for your tangent on evolving legs...no **** Sherlock, of course they help us. But on your evolving foreskin...you sir are wrong. You see, we did just recently evolve this. We've had it since (and before) our specie was Homo-Erectus. The reason why it was evolved was because they didn't have as civilized living as we do now. They lived in caves, in the woods, where they were exposed a lot more.

And your comment on chopping off a leg to look like a cross is just stupid and shows that you have no understanding and cannot even grasp the meaning of the Christian concept and just shows you are so udderly blind to comprehending it at all, but I wont go any further there (sorry for the religious rant). Plus, people have their gaulbladders removed a lot now a days. We evolved that, but yet the body doesn't actually need it...hmmm. It survives and functions normaly without it.

I really don't care about your statistics about sensation, either. I hate to sound like an upright *****, but hell, who really cares how sensitive it is down there when I'm 50 anyway. Besides from your theory anyway, we evolve that way, so why should we use Viagra? Wouldn't that be going against it? It happens for a reason, why change it, hmmm? Now that I can play Devil's advocate on.

You are right, my penis is exposed to 'pant air particles', however it is not exposed to direct wind, or air. This is why we made clothes, to protect our selves from the enviorment, and we even have underwear to further this protection. But, it doesn't make sense how something on the OUTSIDE could help protect the penis from the INSIDE. You said it yourself, your 'forceshield' protects it from inside the penis. The foreskin only effects the outside, not the inside.

And on last note. We shouldn't even be arguing about this anyway. This is a forum to help stop masterbation (masturbation), not about the pros/cons of cirsumsizitions and foreskins. Lets focus on the current problem, if you'd like to discuss circumsizing, please jump on a different board, we're looking for something else.

Now...it has been five days since my last time. I'm feeling a little strong, but today I could fill my head start to think of things just to type to find porn, and even now, I have to fight it. I just keep thinking that I can do it, and try the breathing exercise, and it helps..a lot. I believe in the '3 day hump' rule. Once you've overcome 3 major temptations of the same kind, you can defeat it. Same as smoking. Good luck to all those that are trying. Keep up the good work, and if you have fallen off, get back on and try, try again.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I'm the same way, I can stop either. I've tried different ways for years now. I'm now 21, as of yesterday, and I seem to need to masterbate. When I'm done I have a hard time remembering things, I get sleepy sometimes, I have most of the symptoms everyone else has mentioned here exept for the smell. I don't have any smell at all but then again I don't really feel bad when I'm done so that may be why. I use to feel bad when I was done because it felt like I was letting myself down. It's just like a drug. I would give into temptation and when I ejaculated and temptation was gone, then I would feel bad. I have a very hard time stopping for even acouple days. The only way I have stopped is when I keep myself busy and my mind off of sexual things. I don't know if this will help any one but to stop masterbating (masturbating) for awile sometimes a would tell myself I have to get up and do this before I masterbate. I would give myself some thing to do that I thought would get my mind off of it like push ups, sit ups, taking the trash out, make something to eat, watch the rest of southpark, reno 911, or some other awesomely kewl show. If you really want to stop for a day pop in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, damn that otta do it.

     The main purpose of this post is just do find out why these symptoms occure usually from masterbation (masturbation). I just don't get why masterbating (masturbating) makes me feel this way, its exactly why I want to stop. Can someone please tell me why????????? thanks
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Humans are funny creatures ... if it feels good, they'll do it!  Your all young and in your sexual prime guys and I believe you can't stop b/c you have found a 'high' that is free, easy to achieve and simply it feels good.  The more you worry about it ... the greater the problem becomes.

If any of you really wanted to stop, you would. It's hard to break any pleasurable habit - some teenagers still suck their thumb and go to therapists for help.

Two words masterbators:  WILL POWER!

You guys just need motivation for stopping, a girlfriend that you really care about might help.  If you don't feel any need to stop then you wont.  Give it time, maybe your sex drives will settle down in the coming years.

I think most young guys experience this to greater and lesser extents. The ones that do sucessfully kick the habit tend to say that it looses it's thrill eventually and there is a desire to make love with some one other than yourself.  You'll all get bored of it eventually so keep it up if you like it.

Good luck tosser's (no offense intended!)
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Since the 4th, I've done it once. Unfortunately, it was the night, after the post. However, I have thought of it since, but haven't done it. I think it is partially to 008800's comment about staying busy. Just getting your mind off of it. If somehow, anyhow, you can get your mind on something else it'll be better. I've also noticed that I literally haven't had time to do so, I've kept so busy, there wasn't time to sit at the computer and do it.

And 'Mr. hangin'in there!' We all know that will power is the way to go, but sometimes it gets the better of us, and we do know it's largely due to our sex drives being at their prime, and the cheap way to 'feel good' for that moment, however, we are here to try to find means to stop it, and stop it now.

I've noticed that when I first start to feel the want to do it, the thought hasn't totally consumed my thoughts, I can still think of other things, largely that I don't want to do it. It is at this point where the real fight it, and it is at this point where we need to say, ok I have to do this, and this, or this. Just get away from where that is, and go elsewhere, hell go to sleep even. Generally something a little more time consuming, and something that doesn't have sexual interests in it, this can spark the urge again after the thought was gone, then you'll be at square 1 again. It's hard because we feel the need to finish whatever we were doing when the thought entered so we stay and usually end up doing it, but remember you can come back to it later.

In 15 minutes, it will be officially one week since my last time. Easy enough? Ha....on the other hand I do notice that it is usually before a day off, again when I have the time, and don't have the big need to get up early in the morning, so I can stay up later.

Good luck everyone, and keep strong...damn I sound like a stupid-*** geek...sorry.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
It's "Mrs. Hangin'in there" guys - I'm a women.

See? I was right!!! It's a comfort habit and yes, women masterbate too.  I've never had a problem with it but then, like you say, when you got time and privacy on your hands it becomes an attractive option.

If it's a problem for you, you can always talk to a therapist.  If you have read every post above it all boils down to the same thing for everyone ... and any habit is hard to break as I mentioned in the case where teenagers still suck their thumbs etc. Only you can control yourselves, it's just a case of breaking the habit and (as you are now finding) keeping busy and not thinking about erotic things automatically.

I still think the biggest problem here is that you are all so worried about it. You shouldn't have to stop entirely! It's like alcohol consumption - don't overdo it all the time but there's nothing wrong with enjoying a drink every now and again.
Moreso for the unnattached men on this forum I think.

Now - when you do find yourselves overindulging in the free high, remember that YOU CAN control this if you really want to.  My fella says if you imagine something really gross in a sexual context it ends the need to 'go all the way' with yourselves.  That is a man's advice, but as a women I still think it comes down to will power and a realisation of why you do what you do in the first place. Boredom sounds like the culprit here in all your posts and I stand by everything I said in my earlier post.

Learn to be men and in control of yourselves and not act like boys that have just found a hobby that feels so good you gotta get that buzz as often as possible.  It's about growing up in a way - like the thumb sucking teenager has to do inevitably.  We all mature at different paces and there is no shame in this.

Take care all you guys, from "MRS." hangin'in there!
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Just a thought: is this a particularly American habit - that is, is there something 'cultural' to all this questioning?
In Australia, home of the some champion wankers, people just accept the fact that men just like touching themselves.

Advice: Think of a Woody Allen one-liner!
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
First of all, Mrs. hangin', it necessarily isn't a 'comfort habit'. However, you are correct about the will power thing. If you have it, you can stop it, but if you don't you need something else. This advice on how to do it may come from a therapist, but the problem is that some people don't have the money, and if they do, they are so ashamed of it that we don't want our spouses/significant others to find out. And, the reason why people are reading/posting is to find a way to stop, not just have everyone say 'you can do it if you really want to'.
A lot of us are worried about it, and it's for good reason. We do it, and we don't want to, and we keep falling and doing it. And yes, you would have to stop entirely. Your example holds no truth. We are addicted to this, not just casually doing it, that's what got us in this mess in the first place. Basically what you're saying is that it is ok for an alcoholic to drink...this doesn't fix anything, but tell him it's ok to drink, then they have falled off the wagon, again, duh! And there is something wrong with it, there is a lot wrong, including that it's selfish. I'm sorry, but just up and trying to imagine something 'gross' when in the moment isn't going to necessarily work. If your mind is set on something and you try to throw an alternate thought in, the mind automatically flushes it out. Especially, when it's in that kind of thought train. When it is, your mind is thinking of reproduction, and the trained thoughts (that people like you put in) kick in. If we can't have sex to reproduce, I'll just do this, it's ok, no it isn't. Can we say impotence? And by the way you talk, you just see us as immature punks that can't control ourselves, and that isn't it, you just don't know what you're talking about. And if it isn't a problem for you, how'd you come upon this site? I'm sorry, but I don't go surfing the web day to day to see if people are having problems masturbating.

Mr Med, it isn't really a cultural thing, in a sense. However, what is in the culture is sex, sex, and more sex. When the advertise this, it's always in a sense of you have to do it. When you get into a relationship, you have to have it, and you just have to have it, no ifs and or buts about it. Plus when they show it, it's usually outstanding gorgeous people, and they always can find a person to do it or have someone. And some of us can't or don't. Most times, as you can see from earlier posts, people learn it at a young age where something like that is a lot harder to happen, so then the media teaches masterbation (masturbation), and this is where the problem comes in.

On further note, I have been clean for 11 days. I have found something that not necessarily takes my mind off of it, or keeps me to busy, but definately makes me not want to do it. My wife gave birth to our baby boy on Nov. 11. The feeling I get (not scared feelings, but pride and happiness) when I see him, just takes the feeling away. Hopefully, it'll stay that way. See ya, and good luck!
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I'm sorry you get the impression that I think you're all immature punks - I hope this attitude is not a predjudice against my gender.

I came to this website not to surf for topics related to masterbation (masturbation) - but to find help with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and a medication called 'effexor - XR'. The thread on masterbation (masturbation) was worth a look at ... I mean I am by no means ashamed to say that I was curious what kind of masterbation (masturbation) topic would be in the mental health forum.

You may actually find this hard to believe, Ashamed Cracker, but I actually like to give people helpful advice and thought that considering I have never had this problem maybe I could help you guy's/girls (don't care which)out with some reassurance that masterbation (masturbation) is OK.

Let me just say, Ashamed Cracker, congratulations on the birth of your son!! Our's is 2 yars old now and you must be on cloud nine - my hubby was when our boy was born.  It's a hard thing for a man to watch his girl in labor - my hubby said it was the worst AND best day of his life. You will definately find that kids mature you - and you will probably grow out of old friends now and change the whole way you think big time. This is normal - it is also "growing up" and while I never meant to give you the impression that you guy's are immature punks, I still believe that this habit stems from immaturity (In the nicest possible way!!) I was 15 when I stopped sucking my thumb and I truly believe I went through the same agony breaking this habit as you are going through with your's.

Interesting point about the alcoholic although the "-duh" was a little condecending, mate. Please don't take me for some dumb ***** that has no idea - because my mother is an alcoholic with addiction problems so I know a thing or two about your analogy:
Firstly, you CAN tell an alcoholic that drinking isn't evil and can be done in moderation. They may, however, be more sucessful if they were to never drink again and just quit full stop.  However, b/c most people find drinking socially enhancing and highly acceptable - chances are that the alcoholic will need to learn control in an environment where they are expected to have a few to celebrate.  I was very proud of my mother at my wedding 2 years ago!  After being sober for 12 months w/o a drop she found herself at my wedding where drinks were paid for by us and free to guests. Endless supplies were offered to her all night and she said "No thanks - I'm saving myself for the champagne." and when asked to cheers - she only had 3 glasses that evening!  This women had cirrahosis of the liver and would drink bloody metho or cooking sherry she was so bad!  And for over 26 years too!  So please don't "DUH" me or I might decide you are a punk - even though it hadn't occured to me before your last post!!!

So the media is not going to go away, and masterbation (masturbation) wont stop feeling pleasurable.  Alcoholics will have to walk past bottle shops etc. etc. I had to stop thumbsucking - do you have any idea how ashamed of this I was and felt I could never give this up. I didn't chop my thumb off - and I would not recommend casteration for you guy's (OUCH!)

If you can't afford therapy then please take my advice -as good as a therapists advice - for free:

Re train the way you think and CONCIOUSLY break the habit.  More like a smoker, Ashamed Cracker, if you give in to temptation and lite up don't despair. Itwill not seem easy at first but eventually you will train your mind's to think differently.  I do believe that life will solve this problem naturally as you all age and priorities shift. This is not designed to be a personal attack on anyone's maturity levels - we all evolve in our own time. (You will see that as your son grow's he will develop at different paces from other's his age in his mother's group -AC) This is what I meant.  My son walked last in the group - so what? He's been more dexterous than the other's until now. They are just starting to average out now - and other's in this thread that have not had a son may be thinking "Oh golly ashamed cracker - I don't have a baby due anytime soon so what will help me??" They may even retort that they didn't come to this thread to hear about how your kid helped you stop - maybe it hasn't worked for another bloke with kids.

My point remains. I tactfully say that the more concious effort you make to change your behaviour and understand what you get out of this behaviour - the greater your chances of success.

My only problem with masterbation (masturbation) is when it is done in public or obscenely. If this is you - then I'm sure the government would fund your psychological expenses!!!

... And maybe that being pregnant and having a 2 year old means I don't get the chance to have a S.S.S. (Sh#!,Shave,Shower) let alone a chance to do it myself! Maybe it would be good for stress release but hell, that's why I respond to Ashamed Cracker. Thankyou for taking my constructive critisim into account, and I have thoroughly enjoyed this thread like a glass of whiskey!!!

Don't loose hope everyone. You can do it!!! Self control and will power. If that doesn't work - find something else to do instead and don't be ashamed about the odd slip up (or right to masterbate occasionally)if and when it happens.  Keep trying.

Good luck, from hangin'in there!
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
i can relate with everyone here.im 37 and started this habit when i was 9.im sure this is like our blanket of some sort and we need to let go of it.it has become a habit and it's hard to let go as hard as we may try.i trust in god and know he loves me and will not give up on me.the first thing i know that will help is trying to find the trigger point.why we sarted this habit and try to deal with that first.then come back here and group discuss this with each other.to understand why we started is the first mountain to climb.to fight the habit and get our life back is the next mountain.satan wants us to fail but we must not let him win.just know that now is the time to beat this problem and be free.im here if you all need help.
god bless
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
i can relate with everyone here.im 37 and started this habit when i was 9.im sure this is like our blanket of some sort and we need to let go of it.it has become a habit and it's hard to let go as hard as we may try.i trust in god and know he loves me and will not give up on me.the first thing i know that will help is trying to find the trigger point.why we sarted this habit and try to deal with that first.then come back here and group discuss this with each other.to understand why we started is the first mountain to climb.to fight the habit and get our life back is the next mountain.satan wants us to fail but we must not let him win.just know that now is the time to beat this problem and be free.im here if you all need help.
god bless
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
i can relate with everyone here.im 37 and started this habit when i was 9.im sure this is like our blanket of some sort and we need to let go of it.it has become a habit and it's hard to let go as hard as we may try.i trust in god and know he loves me and will not give up on me.the first thing i know that will help is trying to find the trigger point.why we sarted this habit and try to deal with that first.then come back here and group discuss this with each other.to understand why we started is the first mountain to climb.to fight the habit and get our life back is the next mountain.satan wants us to fail but we must not let him win.just know that now is the time to beat this problem and be free.im here if you all need help.
god bless
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
i can relate with everyone here.im 37 and started this habit when i was 9.im sure this is like our blanket of some sort and we need to let go of it.it has become a habit and it's hard to let go as hard as we may try.i trust in god and know he loves me and will not give up on me.the first thing i know that will help is trying to find the trigger point.why we sarted this habit and try to deal with that first.then come back here and group discuss this with each other.to understand why we started is the first mountain to climb.to fight the habit and get our life back is the next mountain.satan wants us to fail but we must not let him win.just know that now is the time to beat this problem and be free.im here if you all need help.
god bless
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
i can relate with everyone here.im 37 and started this habit when i was 9.im sure this is like our blanket of some sort and we need to let go of it.it has become a habit and it's hard to let go as hard as we may try.i trust in god and know he loves me and will not give up on me.the first thing i know that will help is trying to find the trigger point.why we sarted this habit and try to deal with that first.then come back here and group discuss this with each other.to understand why we started is the first mountain to climb.to fight the habit and get our life back is the next mountain.satan wants us to fail but we must not let him win.just know that now is the time to beat this problem and be free.im here if you all need help.
god bless
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I have never done this before, as post anything on the internet. I'm not coming from someone who is dealing with masterbating (masturbating) problems. I'm coming from the other side. I'm a wife of a husband who has a problem.

My husband has a terrible problem with masterbating (masturbating). It has casued problems in our sex life. I know he enjoys masterbating (masturbating) more than he does me. I was sexually abused when I was a child and find this to be discusting to me. I try to ignore it but it is hard when you have a teanage daughter in the house and he will lay in bed with the door open in his boxers. Sometimes he doesn't even know that he is playing with himself. I will walk by while he is laying in bed watching TV and catch him doing it. My daughter is a very quiet person and I know if she has caught him doing things she will be to embarassed to tell me. I no longer want to have sex with him. I'm repulsed with the fact that he does this and thinks only of himself. When we have sex he only cares that he is the one getting the satisfaction.

I love my husband very much and want a healthy sex life but at this point I don't think it is possible. I feel like I'm being cheated on again. My second husband cheated on me. Now I feel like I'm being cheated on in another since. I feel like I don't measure up to his fantasies. I'm not fat and I know I'm not ugly because he says his friend ask him if I'm blind. As how would someone like me be with someone like him. He is a wonderful man but he needs to stop this or I'm going to ask him to leave. I don't want to put up with this one more year of my life. I have put up with this for 11 years now.

Someone Please help what can I do?
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
THE ANSWER IS.......

You are not alone and I think I can help

I can relate to the torment of not being able to control your sexual urges.....

for me it was hell...it ripped away at my self confidence and made me feel like a prisioner in my own body....

I belive the essence of man is free will, if he doesn't have that he is nothing but an animal programmed and destined to follow his genetic inheritance....

I am 32, married with two klids and have a great job and good friends, i have masturbated since i was eleven and have never gone by a few days without doing it. that is until now

...finallly I am close to freedom

Masturbation is neither good nor bad..it is not an absolute, it can be both.

If you want to stop but can't well then that is a problem.

So is there a solution?

Yes there is, and it has nothing to do with God, will power, herbs or breathing as has been suggested by previous comments  

I believe is has everything to do with an anxiety caused by an inner conflict.

you wank to feel better because deep down you don't feel good

wanking is great because you can forget yourself and the real world, your focussed and more alive then the rest of the day.
it feels good and for that brief time it takes all your worries away.

so you stop wanking for a day or two...and eventually life throws you a challange or an obsticale, you get angry, scared, stressed or sad.  Some negative emotion arises and instead of dealing with that emotion(I'll come back to this later) you ignore it, you may be so good at ignoring your negative emotions that you don't experiance them at all, You see a distressing news story and you ignore it, instead of empathy with the victums of a crime on tv you rationalise that its just another news story...you are bombarded by advertising telling you that your not good enough as you are, that you need something, a car , a ski trip, a beatifull wife, to be happy...that is the number one message in america today...your not good enough you lack something and our product will give it to you...

wanking is a natural response to the society we live in

monkeys masturbate alot more in the confines of a zoo then they do in the wild....yes i am calling you a monkey and america is a zoo...

but you are more then a monkey...because you have self awarness and you know you are living in a zoo.

And this is the key that will release you from your prison of self abuse.

The more stressed you are the more likly you are to masturbate
Oh you can jog, meditate, get massages, become financialy secure, move to the country and stop watching the news in order to remove the stress from your life( i have tried all of these) but they will not stop you from masturbating becuase something will eventually stress you and you have become almost hardwired to wank when stressed....

so what is the answer

The answer is that you need to change the way you deal with stress ( or any negative emotion that you are failing to deal with) men are not good with negative emotions
we have been socialised in the playground and at home to believe that expressing negative emotions such as fear or saddness is a weakness, so in order to appear strong we have repressed these emotions and hidden them from view.

this repression causes an internal conflict

one part of you is saying
I'm sad the world is ****** or my job ***** or i have pimples
or i'm angry because the world is full of injustice
or i'm scared because the future is uncertain
or i'm lonely or worried for any number of things



and another part of you is saying
shut up don't worry be happy. be a man get on with it.
work harder. don't be a sissy. don't be so self centered
i don't have time for all this mopping or worst of all think positive think positive.


this cuases stress because instead of dealing with your negative emotions you are simply trying to avoid , ignore,solve or  distract yourself from them.

And you learnt this from your parents and society.

when children are upset most parents try and distract them
they give them toys or sweats or turn on the television
instead of simply validating the emotion and allowing it to occur. parents and teachers and friends especially for boy do not have or take the time to console young males who are sad or scared or anxious...the message is its not real or important or worse still the emotion is wrong get over it. Cheer up its not that bad.

You can't relive your childhood or blame your parents as they were simply doing the best they knew how.

but you can change the way you deal with your negative emotions.

allow them to occur

embrace the inner conflict
recognise that the wanker in you is only trying make you feel better by distracting you from your own emotions.
and the critical part of you that hates the wanker is a mimic of your parents and teachers and preists that is saying you should grow up get on with it be productive.
both parts are good and are trying help, but neither can fix the problem because neither of them is admitting that you are in pain.

and you are in pain because you are ignoring your emotions.

in the end the answer is simply but will take a while to put into practice

love yourself

yes love yourself

forgive yourself for being a wanker, after all it is a natural response to the stress you were failing to deal with.

allow yourself to be sad sometimes and happy at other times
if you are sad..say to yourself i'm sad and that's ok.  i can deal with that and after a while you will find that the sadness goes away and a eventually you will deal with it better.

give yourself permission to experiance all you emotions
don't buy into the advertising hype that you must be happy happy happy....

its starnge but if you allow yourself to be sad eventually you will be happier

the key is to be gentle with yourself , show compassion to all the parts of yourself , don't judge yourself , you are fine the way you are ...you have as much right to be here as anything else you are perfect now and i'm sure your doing the best you know how. go easy on yorself and take time to care for yourself. life is hard at times and is full of injustice and suffering...we are all going to grow old and get ill and die...there is no escaping that no matter how fit or rich you are. but there is also great beauty and joy ..to live is to experiance both.  

give love a go ..unconditional self love

whether you choose to wank after that is up to you, but at least you won't be wanking because you can't deal with your emotions

give it a go










  

  







Blank
Avatar_n_tn
hello i have been masturbading since i was 10 and im 16 right now.. and a virgin so maybe thats one of the reason's why i do this.. i only do it when im really horny and im alone in my room or in the bathroom somewere by myself... i do have a boyfriend but im not ready to lose my virginity yet b\c of my age.. i hate doing this and i try to stop for some amount of weeks but it just keeps on comin back..nothing has changed about me nobody can even tell that i do this but only if i say something.. im thinkin maybe if i do lose my virginity then i wount have a reason to do this by myself... i did tell my boyfriend about this problem he told me that alot of people do it .. and there is nothing wrong with it.. but there is if its you that has to deal with it... can you please help me???
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
hi im 16 years old and i have been masterbating (masturbating) since i was 14 years old and under my eyes gone very deep and blackand i want to know why is this hapning please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????
Blank
246382_tn?1189759430
Do you have any hobbies, a job, anything to keep your mind occupied...so your not thinking about masturbating? Do you read magazines or something that adds to your wanting to masturbate? if so, maybe start by getting rid of that kind of stuff first. Yes i would go c a doctor too, it sounds as if that might be your only solution, or one of many. Im a chick so i dont know, but maybe if you got a job and a different hobby well...it wouldn't hurt. Try fishing....without your worm.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
i'm a 35 year old male i've accomplished every sexual fantasy i've had and i still enjoy masterbating (masturbating), it's the safest from of sex i've found and i'm always satisfied no one will ever know ur body like you do,theres nothing wrong with spankin the monkey, and don't let no one tell you different,and to the virgin keep pluggin your hole, virginity is something sacared and if you can satisfy yourself without losing yours,you'll thank your fingers later........................... kuntry out
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
do u have yahoo id?
Blank
246382_tn?1189759430
y do u want my yahoo id??
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
because i wanna talk to u plz give me it
Blank
246382_tn?1189759430
gimmi yours and i will add u. i dont need anybody else getting it
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
If God, or nature, or whomever you believe mixed up the recipe that resulted in US, the marvelous human beings we are, thought there was a problem with masturbation then it would not have been created to be so enjoyable.
We all are crippled by the shackles that are put on us from others. Parents, teachers, clergy, and even police can make us feel as if we are corrupt or somehow inferior by placing their moral, legal, or social values on us.

If you are worried about the religious aspects of masturbation talk to your clergy. I feel that masturbation in this world of thought revolves around the "gateway" idea. I mean some feel that this may lead to promiscuity, pre-marital sex, devious thoughts, lust etc. Once these ideas are accepted by one then it may take more then simple tactile pleasure to reach orgasm. Keep your thoughts as pure as you can and enjoy the miricle of the body.

Remember, teachers have their own set of personal reasons for living the way they choose. Keep an open mind but NEVER let another make you feel guilty if you are not hurting others or yourself!

Parents do the best they can. If you have the nerve as them how they were raised and taught to think about this.
As with anything,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,keeping your body healthy and clean by practicing good hygiene, exercising daily, eating healthy foods and drinking lots of WATER will go along way to keeping your mind, body, and spirit happy.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
is masterbation (masturbation) is a sin?
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
ok my yahoo id is iran_vatan_eminem
Blank
246382_tn?1189759430
lol well put!! Right-on!!!!
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I'm pretty old now and no longer interested in sex, but unless some of you are masturbating to excess or doing so in inappropriate places, why do you feel you have to stop?  If your religion teaches it's sinful, and I know the Catholic Church does, well -- either stop doing it or get over the ridiculous guilt you've been conditioned to feel because of this perfectly normal act.  Unless it's negatively interfering with your life, and I'm not referring to stupid religious teachings, there is nothing wrong with it!  If it were wrong, God would not have instilled the very natural and strong desire to do it in us; children discover it at a very young age and masturbation is how we get to know our bodies sexually.  
Blank
214864_tn?1229718839
Do you bathe regularly and use deodorant? There is no way that masturbation can cause a smell, unless you sweat a lot while doing it, do not clean all of the ejaculate off, and do not shower afterwards. This smell is all in your head. If people tell you that you stink, it is because of body odor or the cologne/aftershave you use.

Masturbation is totally normal. Were you raised as a catholic, or a protestant, with devoted attendance at church? Did someone discover you masturbating at a younger age, like your mother?

These symptoms you list could be psychosomatic and very real for you. Give yourself a break fellow! Learn to laugh at your idiosyncrasies. Masturbation is only bad if you actually damage your penis from abusive handling.

Some, or probably very many people have a hard time relieving their sexual tension, or finding gratifying sexual relief. You can become obsessed with having the perfect orgasm. You may be in search of a constant orgasm.

You are a man dude. We have primordial urges that are powerful. Some people are very twisted. If your fantasies are what is bothering you, then that is a different situation altogether. If any involve under aged people or harming someone, then you need to find a psychiatrist and tell them the truth asap. Don't waste your or their time. Tell the truth immediately. What you say to them is totally and legally confidential, unless you have hurt someone.

Good luck in finding peace within yourself. Achieve something in your life and build up your self esteem. Take charge of your life and emotions!
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
i am a 31 yo male, i've been doin it since my i was 16. Soon after i lost my virginity, my girl taught me how to do it bcuz she said we were havin too much sex. since i learned how, i feel that my desire to hav sex has been substituted with my urge to masterbate. while i still enjoy the real thing, i am much less likely to hav a relationship bcuz its so much  easier just to pleasure myself. i feel like i am missing out. i hav not had great sex for a long time. i love 2 to it and at the same time i wish i never started...
Blank
214864_tn?1229718839
It is very hard to kiss yourself :)

What I am saying is you should be wanting to interact, hold, smell, touch etc., a woman just because of what they are, pure pleasure and an active partner....
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I have similar problems...same side effects +

Try you best to control your desire....get rid off any nudity object...Magazine, Dvd etc
Try day to day plan to stop it, if the environment you live in encourages you, migrate to different place, wheather it be city, country etc

Many people say it is natural including dodgy scientist and unreliable,

Thus people who claim masterbating (masturbating) is normal
should be really ashamed of therselves,

What i would say to them do some RESEARCH..It has many side effects plus it could lead to Prostate cancer and other illness....

Do some authentic research rather than agreeing with those liers.
Blank
214864_tn?1229718839
I admire you for your self disicipline :)
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I have the same problem, I am also experiencing the same symptoms. I was so despret, i asked someone to tie my hands behind my back and blindfold me for a year so I would stop alot of bad habbits.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
stop masterbating (masturbating) it put's to much pussure on you like "Is someone going to walk in, will someone find out, am i gay ect.?
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I'm trying really hard to wrap my brain around what you just said, so please elaborate for me - masturbating leads to prostate cancer?  Where on earth did you hear that from?  What kind of bizarro-world research are you talking about?  There is in no way, shape, or form any possibility of masturbation leading to ANY kind of cancer.  Even if you thought of just the physiology of the male orgasm... the same things happen when you masturbate that happen when you have sex, and as far as I know, ejaculation in itself doesn't lead to cancer.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I'm just a regular 14 year old boy  who got curious one day and tried masturbating , now I think about doing it everyday of my life. I want to stop because it doesnt feel right, it makes me feel some emotion  i never felt before well its not a sexual emotion its like some sort of guilt.  has any1 had this emotion before?
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I don't know if this will get read but... I have been masterbating (masturbating) since 11 yrs old also molested by the same person who tought me how to masterbate. I am now 31 and I still masterbate almost everday and sometimes up to 3 or 4 times a day. I find it hard to even keep my hand off myself when goin to bed or while on the computer. I did however stop for about 2-3 yrs during my marriage, but started right after I divorced. The divorce was not caused by the masterbation (masturbation). But now I have a hard time gettin aroused and staying aroused. My "payload" is weak, thin and low. I really want to stop...  
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
You really helped me out I have tried everythang and nothing has helped. I am a christian and I have a a two year old baby boy with the pastors doughter. And now with the help you provided me with I can quit and live a life of freedom without the sin.
Thank you so mutch!
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
i have a idea. try to get a hobby. im in the same boat. masterbated for over 8 years and now im noticeing a problem with my erections. they are not as stiff. so what im trying to do is that when i get the urges to masterbate, i go to my coin colection and try to find a coin i dont have. just try to put your self in a position where you wont masterbate.
Blank
This Forum's Experts
351246_tn?1379685732
Dr. Kokil MathurBlank
Consultant
,
MedHelp Health Answers
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
RSS Expert Activity
233488_tn?1310696703
Blank
New Cannabis Article from NORTH Mag...
Jul 20 by John C Hagan III, MD, FACS, FAAOBlank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
3 Reasons Why You are Still Binge E...
Jul 14 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Emotional Eating: What Your Closet ...
Jul 09 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank