persistant severe depression

i have been suffering from severe depression for so long i cant remember when it started. i have tried a multitude of medications which have very limited effect. i was having ect for a while but then my dr suddenly decided that it wasnt safe over extended time frame. i can honestly say that the ect was not having a great or lasting impact but it did "lift the fog" and allow me to feel like i was alive. right now i feel like i am in a glass coffin that allows me to see  but not connect with my family or friends. the thought of suicide is forever in the back of my mind, it feels like the only way to find a lasting solution. the only thing holding me back is what effect it would have on my family. i have become very good at letting people see what i want them to see, so they are not aware of my desperation. my sister is constantly telling me how great i am doing and i feel like i must be really stupid for not being able to feel what she must see. she also communicates with my dr. right now i am taking parnate, amitriptilyne, lithium, cytomel and clonazepam. my dr said that he would only start the ect again if my husband and i insist. i dont want to insist if it means that it would cause permanent damage, but i cannot continue the way i have been. my strength and will have been depleated. i dont want to continue waking up every morning wishing that i hadnt. can you suggest anything at all that might help?

[HFHS-M.D.-HG]

Whats left to try

There are several safe and effective  medications available in the market for the treatment of depression. SSRI

[Doggies4]

Believe me, I have been where you are.  There is hope, though.

I suffered from EXTREME anxiety and deep depression for about 16 years before I got medication.  I had been in therapy with a psychologist who was great but I desperately needed the meds.

It was just a year or so ago when my doctor gave me Effexor and it is working great.  I only have had a couple of weeks when the depression was bad again.

I know what it is to continually want to die.  I begged God to let me die and then finally slashed my wrist.  I was so desperate.  But what I am saying is hang in there.  Have you tried Effexor?  I had tried many, many antidepressants over the years and nothing has worked like that.  If that doesn't work for you, something else surely will.

I know it is so hard.  I feel for you.  But don't give up.  There will be help for you.

[barbara to pain and lortab]

I was also to the point of begging God to kill me just last week after a long bout with alcoholism. I tried stopping ever since last October and nothing seemed to work. Once I reached three weeks of sobriety severe anxiety and depression would set in and bring me back to self medicating with alcohol.

I have a chronic pain problem and sleep apnea with associated insomnia as well which aggravated the condition. After two weeks in an in-patient mental ward my psychiatrist finally decided to try Ultram for my pain since she thought I was taking too much Motrin. She says Advil and Motrin, (Ibuprofen) is bad for the kidneys.

I have been taking the Ultram for two days and had instant results. No more pain, depression, or anxiety. And I even have been sleeping great for a change! I now feel comfortable about reducing the heavy Klonopin doses I am on for alcohol withdrawal zeizures and DT's!

I don't know if it will work for you, but it is working for me. It is a semi-narcotic pain killer, with anti-depressant features.

[Bryan]

I have been diagnosed with major depression. My doctor has given me Remeron for the past 6 months. He started me out on 15 mg. and has upped that to 30mg. this week. After the 4th month, I started to backslide. Taking the stronger dose has put me in the state of mind that I feel is "normal" for most people. I write poetry and it shows the mental state that I am in. By reading what I have written, my loved ones and myself can see how the meds are working. Also, dealing with my "inner demons" has helped more than the meds have.

[frances]

I've mentioned in another post, my father had intractable depression like yours and had tried everything under the sun, including ECT, which helped for awhile but then it would wear off.  Finally they didn't want to do ECT on him anymore (he was 86 at the time and needed heart surgery). After his surgery he was still depressed and eventually they tried him on Celexa, which did not help much until they added Ritalin to it.  The combination of Ritalin and Celexa has really worked for him - he's like a new person.  At 88 he's going to work at a part-time proofreading job every day, is outgoing and cheerful and is doing great.  It's the best I've seen him since his depression started 20 years ago when he retired.  I hope you too find a combination therapy or another drug that helps you.  Ask your doctor about the Ritalin and see if it works for you.

[charlie]

You poor poor thing,
try to keep some perspective on the world, you are depressed, but that is only a condition, not really how you feel about the world.
Time has an uncanny way of healing,nothing ever stays the same for too long,you must have faith that things can improve. they really will, but only if you keep a shining light of hope.
when you feel like you are peering through a glass window out at the world, remember you are here and there is so much you can do to make that distance seem less and less, have faith,time will make things better.
There is so much love in the world, try to feel it even if you cant see it, it is everywhere!!!


remember the drugs will help, so keep on looking, but you are your own healer,when you feel that burst of happiness come to you when you hear a beatiful piece of music, feel it and hang on to it, and chase it till it stays with you.
good luck, everything is a ok
charlie

[Joseph C]

To the person who has suffered from persistant depression, have you tried taking an MAO inhibitor, notably Nardil. Ask your doctor about this; although it has some dangers and side effects, it is much better than suffering the rest of your life with severe depression. This drug must be taken with caution, and takes a while to get used to, but can change your life from night to day.

[whats left to try....]

oh, yes. i am currently on parnate, another moa, along with lithium, amitrytriptolene, and cytomel. I don't think there is much left to try. I was doing better for a while on this combination. But now the bad days are coming much more frenquently and more difficult to get through. So, I am  afraid  to look ahead, I think maybe I don't want to see farther than today, tomorrow has no promise. I can't face a lifetime of this and I have no reason to believe tomorrow will be any different.