sexual abuse,deppression,obbsessive thoughts

[angela]

I  have memories of sexual abuse as a small child. I am not sure who commited the abuse . I do however think it was my brother. My  family knows I think this and my brother denies it. I do not have many memories of my childhood. I was a very knowledgeable child of sex at a very young age.I also do not trust my husband i have thoughts of him cheating on me constantly. My mother was married seven times and cheated on every husband. She was not there for me emotionally at all.I have very low self esteem. I always think everyone is a liar  and is out to get me. At times  lose it and cannot contain my anger even if I know im out of control.What can I do to help myself ? How can I make my family believe me?

[HFHS MD - RG]

It is difficult to say indeed if some type of abuse has been done in the past especially if you do not have many memories of your childhood. On the other hand, if you had experienced abuse, somehow because of the cruel pain you had, your conscious mind blocks out that pain along with the memories of childhood that goes along with it.

Because of these uncertainties plus the experience you had with your mother, it is affecting your current relationship with your husband and at the same time is affecting the way you feel about yourself.

I am concerned though, with your thoughts of seeing everybody as a liar and they are out to get you.

The first thing I would recommend is to seek a professional evaluation with a pyschiatrist to help you find out what is going on. You may benefit in either medications or pyschotherapy or both.

[jen]

im not a perfesional, but, i sometimes have the same feelings as you and the BEST thing i ever did was to get theropy. it has helped me over come a lot of this feelings and i have found out that this all steamed from my abuse as a child. did you ever try talking to your doctor to see if he can refer you to a theropist( i saw a few doctors before i found someone that i was comfortable with so dont be afraid to switch ). everythng you say stays in that room & it may be a good way for you to find out the sorce of your pain and to also find out possibly who commited these crimes to you. i important thing i did learn is though you are not to blam, also the theropist would help you deal with you fears & anger.

i hoped i help you a little. you are in my thoughts and i hope everything works out for you!