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I am in my 30's and a survivor of child sexual abuse. I have been through therapy to deal with these issues and still struggle at times. However, my question relates to the fact that although I get aroused with sexual contact I have always experienced pain with any direct touch to my cliteris.
This is creating problems in my relationship because without stimulation I am unable to orgasm and yet stimulation is painful. I don't know if this is related to the sexual abuse of my child hood or some sort of medical problem.
You did mention that you been in therapy for this in the past and "still struggle through at times".
Not all women are comfortable with direct clitoral stimulation, although men think otherwise. An open discussion with your partner of what you are comfortable with may help your problem. It might help if you and your partner see a sex therapist to talk about the experience that you are having.
I would advise to continue your individual therapy regarding your sexual abuse if you feel this is still causing much of your present problem.
Direct stimulation is often too intense and even painful. Try less direct contact. If you practice on yourself some so that you find out what you like, then you will be better prepared to tell/show your lover what to do. This is normal, unless you are really itchy and raw, then maybe you have an infection. If you aren't comfortable with telling your partner what you like or figuring out what you like together, then maybe this is related to the abuse. I could be wrong, but I find if they don't have the patience to learn what you like, you're better off doing it yourself!
First of all, I'd like to comment on your statement that you were "dealing" with your issues of post-traumatic stress disorder as a result of child sexual abuse. Maybe if you started accepting and stopped "dealing" you would be able to move forward from there in many aspects. However, you did state that direct stimulation to the cliteris caused physical pain, but you still question whether it is related to your "dealing" with abuse issues.
Are you able to masterbate by direct stimulation? If so, then I would very definitely seek further counselling with a credible psychotherapist who can help you "accept" and stop "dealing" with issues. Acceptance of what WAS is more important than "dealing" with the symptoms. Coping and dealing are not healthy. Accepting and formulating methods of realistic healing are what you need to find; and, this can probably only be done through psychotherapy.
I am a clinical psychologist and many of my patients are victims of sexual abuse. Invariably, they have problems with relationships, particularly with sex.
Has anyone found any literature on the convergence of the two areas of sexual abuse counselling and sex therapy? I find lots of things about these two areas individually, but not much where the two are looked at together.
Thanks very much,
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