suffering from depression and social anxiety

Hello,
I am a 43 yr. old mother of three. I have suffered from depression most of my life. Actually I guess what I have suffered from is social anxiety. I do not know how to relate to people. I have a hard time letting my guard down to let a person in to get to know me. This has caused me great anguish. I am married and my husband is supportive as best he can, but the lonliness is getting to be unbearable. I think the social anxiety is what is causing the depression. I do not work because of my inability to relate to people. My last job was in 1999. I have trust issues with people because people always seem to do something to hurt me. I have talked to therapists in the past and I guess what I don't like about them is they are there to only listen to me babble and cry for an hour. I need help! When I go back they don't ever remember what I have already told them. They should write down things that they think is something that we need to talk more about, but they don't do this. I am wondering if there are places that are kind of like a treatment center to help a person with social anxiety and depression. I feel that I need a place to help me to get back in to society and teach me some social skills. Please help!

[Denya]

It's important when you see a therapist that you mention to them your experience with other therapy practices and the reason it was unsuccessful to you, therefore they then will no off the bat what doesn't work for you.  It would be wise to do this because you will start taking control of what you want out of the session.  I would always tell them what I liked didn't like, and I would often tell them how I felt leaving the office because that was more important to me, my state of mind.

        From what I am reading, it sounds almost like you have a lot of fear.  I too suffer from social anxiety, but it's important to not focus on our short comings take care of yourself first.  Get a part time JOB and who cares if your nervous shaking, just see that as a time to take care of you, go on a short break, go into the bathroom cry, and regroup, or take a breath of fresh air.  It's time to get out of the shell, break free, oh and most importantly PRAY your butt off, write GOD some letters I promise he will answer you.

[Zeid]

Hi Kim,
I can feel that you are searching for people that you can trust. It's hard to find what we exactly want. take people as they come, forgive them if they hurt you and be happy with people that love you. Don't share your deep secrets with people from the first time cos it takes time to find people that you can trust. Give a scale of trust to everyone you meet and do not trust people more than you should so you will not be disappointed.

Zed