I think my wife have hypochondriasis and it is breaking me down

[KAIJESTER]

Hi,

Before my wife and I got married, she has always thought that she is having some serious illness whenever she felt unwell or discomfort at certain parts of her body. As my wife is an occupation therapist, I felt that her study and work has contributed to her thinking this way. So far she has panic over leukaemia, dengue fever, tumour and different cancers especially breast cancer all which have proven to be false.

Recently we have moved out with our 2 years-old daughter after staying with my in-laws for 3 years. Since moving out, my wife has been complaining about sickness, whining daily and often absence from work, relying on my in-laws’ help to cope with our daughter.

Besides that, she had a recurring cyst problem which become worse by swelling and accumulating pus . To resolve it, I encouraged her to have a minor surgery to remove the granuloma as suggested by her doctor. She is currently recovering from the surgery but pus has accumulated on her operation area and the pain kept her thinking that she have some serious illness like cancer.  

Unlike the past, she will daily send me texts of her feeling unwell when I am at work, telling me that her time is running out and spend most of her time worried. At home, she will complain of aching and pain all over her body and she expect me to believe her (which I did with a pinch of salt) but it ends up that I have to do most of the household chores, taking care of my daughter and enduring her bad temper.

I tried convincing her to see a doctor but in vain, and these has resulted in plenty of quarrels.

All I feel now is tiredness and because of her, I cannot focus at work and feels unmotivated to do anything. I am at my wits’ end, so I will like to seek this forum’s help to see if there is anything I can do to change this.

Prior to the current state, my wife has been living with her family all her life and has relied on her mother's traditional medication to feel better about her health.

[Jinx_777]

it is possible that something is wrong with her.  it is VERY frustrating when you do not feel well and cannot find the root cause of it.   google is NOT your friend when this happens because just googling simple fatigue will give you scary results.
i think she should have a complete workup.  rule out things like lupus and fibromyalgia, etc.  could have low or high thyroid or other hormones out of whack that will make you feel like you have something serious.  
work with her and if she refuses to go to a doctor to start finding the cause of why she is feeling the way she is, then consider leaving her

[evewisewoman]

Hello there,

I replied to your comments 4 days ago. I don't necessarily expect a response, but I am hoping that you have convinced your wife to go
and see her family doctor as you mentioned that she has " pus has
accumulated in her operation area." As I mentioned to you,  the
presence of pus means there is an infection. Infections need antibiotics
which you can only get from a doctor. Your wife needs to be seen by
your family doctor asap.  This is really important that this be attended
to and soon. She could get very sick.  I wish you and your wife well.  Eve

[evewisewoman]

Hello there,

I just finished reading your comments. Hypochondria as defined in the
dictionary is a chronic anxiety about health, often with imaginary illnesses.
A hypochondriac is a person suffering from hypochondria. I have never
heard of the term hypochondriasis. Based on your comments, your wife
may be a hypochondriac suffering from hypochondria. I use the term
suffer because it must be horrible being a hypochondriac and worrying
you have a serous illness you really don't have. You mention prior to
your marriage, your wife lived with her family and relied on her mother's
traditional medication to help her feel better about her health. What
traditional medication would that be? One thing you mention in your post
is that your wife has had surgery and that she is recovering from that.
You also mention that your wife has pus which has accumulated in her operation area. Pus means that there is an infection. Tell your wife that
pus means an infection and that it is extremely important that she be
seen by her doctor immediately. She may need antibiotics to clear this
up. This is not something that can be ignored. This is very concerning
and your wife needs to make an appointment with her doctor as soon
as possible. She may be a hypochondriac , but this needs URGENT
ATTENTION or she may become extremely ill.  Please give your wife
the support she needs.  I wish you both well.  Evewisewoman