I met my ex fiancé when I was 17 yrs old. In 2007 We dated for three months before I went off to college. He had a 4 yr old son I was devistated leaving from. We broke up and I left for college. Once a month in would come visit with him and his family. I realized being a mither to his son and being with my family is what was more important so I had planned to move back home with my ex and his son. Then few weeks before I was to leave I found out his father was going to jail. I still went home and helped take care of his son. When he got out of prison a yr and a half later we instantly moved into a house as a family. Around this time we found out he had another son and got to start our relationship with him. 5 years later we broke up. It's been extremely hard. It's been one yr. at first I got to see the boys without hesitation from anyone even the new girlfriend he moved in the day I moved out! Then after a few months of calmness and all about the children. I started seeing them less and less. After a yr now i am being told that I am no longer their mom and I need to move on. I taught these boys everything they know they are apart of my body and soul. I don't know how to handle this any further. I cry everyday just wanting them near me and to tell them I love them over and over. I need any advice I am get or encouragement. It's only been 2 weeks since I've scene them but I fear the day after Christmas that I am promised will not come. What will I do!
Sounds like a sad situation and sorry you are going through this and I wonder how it affects the boys. If their father is now in a committed relationship, it may be time for you to move on. If they are agreeable, perhaps some family/group counseling might help all of you. Good luck
I'm so sorry that this has happened. A child can never have too much love, although I know that the title "mother" is a hard one to nail under the circumstances. What happened to the children's mother(s)? if you don't mind me asking? If you were with the children for 5 years, then I'm wondering if you don't have a legal right to see them? It may be that a court would grant you visitation? I would surely be checking that out if I were you. The problem may be this however, it may be too confusing and difficult for a child to have you come in and "visit" with them. I think that you should ask this of a child psychologist, after giving them the full background. I'm so sorry that you are hurting so much by this. I agree that it might be best for a psychologist to allow you to at least be able to talk to this child in a therapy session to make it easier on him to deal with you not being in his life, otherwise, he could surely grow up with unresolved feelings of abandonment and it could hurt him for a lifetime in his own relationships. The fact is that this new girlfriend may or may not work out, so bringing women in and having his kids call more than one woman mommy is a shame. You sound like a really responsible women, and it may have been best if he and you could have dealt like this as a divorce and you could have continued to care for the child. Shame on your ex.
I went right back to college and now am a graduate. the father has remarried the same girl and she now has a baby girl. I haven't seen his youngest in less than a yr and the oldest over a yr. in Arkansas I have no rights. I have been seeing a counselor for this and it has helped. I found a new man and he is amazing and we are expecting our first child in September. I am happy but yet still feel sad from not having the boys I raised and them not being apart of my life. the grandmother still let's me send Christmas and birthday presents to them n I just have to have trust in her that they will get them.
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