How??

I am trying to cope with the loss of to babies in less than a year? I was told by my OBGYN that after loosing my baby at 19 weeks I will have a cerclage for my following pregnancy. I got pregnant not long after and was seeing a high risk doctor. This doctor said that I was not a candidate for cerclage and I ended up loosing my other baby also at 19 weeks. I am torn inside and I can't seem to want to move on. I keep getting anxiety attacks and the medication provided does not work. I was also given an antidepressant and I believe is making things worst. They recommended for me to go see a counselor, but the last thing I need is someone else to tell me that God does things for a reason.